I'm in the verge of a breakdown!

Hey bloggers!

Gah, i'm getting crazy day by day cause of college. Imma be a college student soon! My mum already sent my resume to the Adventist College of Nursing in Penang. And if my resume get approved, then they will be calling me for an interview in April. The intake is in July. I'm scared cause the interview will not be with a local person but with an international person. As in a caucasian person. Omg! I can't speak english that fluently. I can't even write a proper english essay for goodness sake. Not only that, I have to write an essay to apply scholarship from yayasan sabah. What the flying duck?! Seriously, I can't write a proper essay. I suck at it. I have a very low self-esteem as I'm not too exposed with the real world. Well, I don't want to be exposed to it anyway. That's the weak part in me. I don't like to show-off bout me. I don't even have a talent in me. Yes, i'm in the verge of a breakdown here people! I've applied into different universities/colleges. Teaching, nursing, IPTA, Matriculation..if I don't get into one, I may have to go to a private college and that would cost my parents big $$$! I don't want that to happen. I don't want them to spend so much money on me. I will try my best to succeed in my future so I can give them back for what they have done for me in the past. Of course, I'll take care of them. Its my duty tho. Omigosh! I need to be prepared for the interview. Like hazel said to me, "Practice in front of the mirror", yeah, i'll try that and it would be funny tho. I'm already practicing it with my dog. I know its weird, well at least he's there to listen me. What calms me down? Listening to post-hardcore song such as Escape the Fate [my favourite!], Eyes Set To Kill, Silverstein and Avenged Sevenfold. Idk why but their songs just calmed the hell out of me. Haha..lol..i'm being weird today. I don't give a cherry boom boom anyway :P

xoxo,

Jaceyy