Why is it so hard to understand you?

Gosh, why is it so hard for me to understand of what you're going through now? When I asked you, you said that you don't know. It's like you're telling lies about your life. I've known you with lies alongside. I just want to know what is your problem so that I can help. I know you're wondering why do I cared you so much about you. You want the answers? First, you're my friend and as a friend, I don't want you to get hurt. Secondly, it would be such a waste for you to die at a young age. You would not experience life and thirdly, I have this feeling which makes me wouldn't stop caring about you. This feeling that turned into a love kind of feeling which I've kept it for quite sometime. I think our friendship is on the verge of breaking down which I can feel it will happen soon. I want to ask you this question. Am I a friend to you? i'm sure you will just answer yes but what does your heart truly say? That I want to know. I guess, I will leave it that way then....

I so HATE today!!! >:(

Heyy peeps!
I'm blogging in my room..which is in IPGM Kampus Gaya. Glad they have wi-fi here but certain websites are blocked! Damn! Okay nuff said bout yadayada..
Let's get straight to the point.. about what happened today during GERKO time...
VOLLEYBALL!!! Say hello to major pain! xD
I'm just gonna say once.. My hands are hurt!! They're bloody swollen!!
It's like purple and blue in color...pity me :(
Someone! PLease...cure this bloody pain..
Surely..tomorrow I can't write anything..

I'm sick with all of this!!

Heyy..it's been a while since I last update my blog. Its coz I'm busy with my orientation last week. No time for laptop or fun. Gosh, I'm hella tired. Well, the institute was okay.. But there's wi-fi in each room which is a PLUS for me. Tidak boring lah.. Not like in matrix, tamaha wi-fi..sheeshh... Well, I met new friends again! They're ok and very open-minded and I'm beginnning to like them. I'm staying with seniors..whoa, SENIORS! and i'm hella shy around them..I'm gettingg a feeling that my life there would be fun and stressful at the same time. Okay, nuff said bout college. What happen today was sickening me. Wait for the sickening part, on to the happy part first. Today, I bought a new shirt again. On the shirt it stated that,
"SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT DAYS" and I'm in love with that shirt. It truly reflects how I feel each day. Okay, on to the sickening part..owh I so hate of what happen just now. How can you love someone when that someone cares more about his/her relationship with other person, meaning that his/her bff. Ugh, it's stressful. It makes you think that, if she/he loves you or their bff. I'm a bit jealous, yes..jealous. At least, I said it rather than keeping it. It also makes me think, is she/he cheating? I feel like I wanted to give up but I love Vans very much. I know, I'm in a long-distant relationship, but we trust and we loved each other so much. But the truth is, I can't stand it when Vans become sad or depressed. Its making me sad as well. I'M SICK WITH ALL OF THIS!! But I can't give up. Vans stopped being suicide coz of me. I'm confused and pretty much getting to my nerves. Ahhhhh! Idk what to do, seriously. But I don't want us to end. Sadness filled my whole body, with a feeling of anger and rage.. *looks away*

well..that was pleasant..

Today was.....AWESOME!! and pleasant..hehe.. My dad, me and elyn went to watch Drag Me To Hell at growball. That movie nearly gave me a heart attack. Seriously O.o but at the same time it was funny. You should have seen elyn just now. She borrowed my hoodie and guess what she do with it? She zipped it until it covers her face and the wore the hoodie throughout the movie. It was really funny if you saw her. Teehee! Damn, that movie gave me the chills..urgh! :P Screaming everywhere..heart pounding every scene..I have to close my eyes for goodness sake. Lol, I can't stand the excitement of the movie..hehe.

Now, i'm begging you please go to this site, Tun Dr.Mahathir's blog and VOTE whether you want teaching of Science and Maths in Bahasa Malaysia. PLEASE VOTE FOR NO! I'M BEGGING YOU! PLEASE! PLEASE! WE WANT TO GO FUTHER NOT BACKWARDS! Those who vote for "Yes", seriously..what a waste of good education towards our future, "Whackheads!".
Here's the link..
http://chedet.co.cc/chedetblog

PLEASE..PLEASE!! VOTE FOR NO! THANK YOU =D

Birthday!! Woohoo xD

Happy Birthday to me! Teehee! I'm 18 years old! I'm old! Noooooooo!!! But I can finally go into clubs! Woohoo! Jugs..here I come! And I can mosh! Finally! Woooo! Moshing!! Hah! Like I ever been to gigs before :P owh well, I can mosh in my room while listening to BMTH.. So, today's my birthday.. First one to wish me was my mum while I was sleeping. She and Joanne went to KL today. Thanks guys for the wishes by texting me..
My gratitude goes to these following people:

• Lee Foon [first one to text me at 7.40pm]
• Effie
• Step
• Shar
• Brenndan
• Ain
• Hazel
• A1T2 class [my classmates in matriks]

Thanks guys for the wishes. But the most touching moment today is when my friend, Shazziey, called me [btw, she's my classmate in matriks A1T2] and my whole classmate was there..and they sang me a birthday song. I was so touched. My A1T2 are the best class ever! Aww..I miss them so much! I want to go back there! Huhuhu..but I can't. I want to be a teacher. And have you guys read the newspaper headlines yesterday? The government wants to teach Maths and Science in Bahasa Malaysia. I was both shocked and angry. Why would they revert back?! I don't agree with their decision. We are so going backwards. What happen if students went to other country to study? I mean, they learned Maths and Science in bahasa when their in school and what if they futher their studies in other country? They would learn all things in English. I'm a soon-to-be English teacher..well in 6 years..and I disagree with the government decision on this. My major is English and my minor is English Literature and MathScience. Ahhh..this is so not happening! Well..mind that for a while. Its my birthday and why should I be angry today anyway? Owh well...

Down there, are some pics of my classmates, A1T2..

During KAKOM

With Miss Masitah beside me..

During my farewell party on Friday..
I miss A1T2 so so much..heaps!!

I despised this confused feelings in me

Heyy.. i'm lazy to update my blog everyday. So..umm, I'm updating it today xD
Next week, i'll be leaving home again. Thank goodness, its nearer to home. Gosh, I hope the orientation is not bad as my lecturer said it was. Before that, Rest In Peace MJ! I will remember your moon-walk forever. So..i've been thinking alot these past few days. Actually, since last week. Let me ask you something. What is it feel like to have confused feelings in you towards two people? I'm having it now. I'm already madly deeply in love with this person..then there's this another person I met when I was in Labuan. First, it was just a crush then I'm beginning to develop feelings for that person. I mean, this person's smile..when you see it, it makes your heart sings..like when you're angry, if you see that person's smile, it will make you calm. Seriously, i'm not joking around. To add up, this person is always in my head. God..I feel so guilty now. I'm already taken and I love V. I can't like other people other than V. We've been together for like 11 months and one year together anniversary is just around the corner. Although we are far, I mean very far from each other, we'll never stop loving each other. We talked on msn, and I called 1 or 2 times a week. Ooookkaayyy..nuff said. About this person that I'm crushing on.. the eyes and the smile..wooed me. My friend advised me, not to fall for that person coz I'm already with V. Ahhhh! I'm seriously confused. I can't cheat. I love V very much. Argh! Mind me..idk where to express myself so I express it here.. neways, thanks for reading..

xoxo

Toilet Buddies Moments!! [My last night..nooo!]

As promised, here's the pics of us, The Toilet Buddies, on my last night staying at matriks. We took this pics using my webcam at 11.30pm which is the time for us to go to the toilet. But cbf :P its my last night. Hehe..I know you don't know what "cbf" means..but owh well..
The members...
- Me [Jaceyy] -
- Eqah [mummy] -
- Audrina [audy] -
- Rose -
- Nora -

Enjoy the pics...

xoxo

Farewell to KM-HELL..Greetings To MAKTAB GAYA

Heyy..i'm back peeps! Back in Penampang! I came home yesterday. I can't believe that I'm finally home! HOME! But, I missed my friends there. My roomies. I met so many friends from different places and they all are so nice and supportive. I don't know if I can find friends like that when I'm in maktab. Its coz, i'm the only one from smsm who got accepted there. And my lecturer said the orientation was one of the worse orientation of all maktabs. She said that because she studied there. Now, i'm scared. Gah! Gosh, I so miss my roomies.. Eqah whom I called mummy, Nora with her alarm that woke us up and Rose who likes to study. I also meet a friend in the toliet..LOL! Her name is Audrina, she's from Convent and we're on the same floor but different room. She lives just across my room and she's hella cute. LOL! She's my toilet buddy along with my roomies. We go to the toilet every night at 11.30pm. Seriously.. Later, I'll show you in my next post pictures of us on my last night staying at matriks. TOILET BUDDIES MOMENT!! Down there are the pics where I celebrate my birthday with them. It's early to celebrate coz my birthday is on the 10th July which is on friday. I wanted to celebrate with them coz I know I won't be with them on my birthday. So enjoy the pics...

Me and Shar...

ahhh...kiss me?

My smsm peeps..5 years we've been classmates in smsm..

Goofy faces :P

Finally! A decent smile from them.. =D

My roomies!

From left: Eqah, Rose and Nora.

Woohoo! All in!

There's Audrina xD

aww..with the cute faces :)

Cheese!!! Hot smiles!

My Cake!

Chocolate American Cake!

Yumm >.<