me and her talk about kids.. LOL

Heyy! Last night was a blast..rody's friend came over..wow..lots of beer! HAHA.. and seriously..some of his friends are cute! OMG! I've got a crush towards his one of his friends from SMC. My gosh..haha.. *hits myself!* IN YOUR DREAMS! I slept at 5.00am and woke up at 9.30am..whatafack! LOL, i'm kinda have an headache now..owh well..
Btw, Karissa finally texted me after 4 days without texting with her! OMG, that is burden. I missed her so so much..my gawd! I bloody missed her :(
So we both texted and texted..suddenly children came to my mind.. I told her about it. She said she love kids too! Woohoo! Unlike with Vanessa.. she doesn't like kids coz she thinks its painfully. So suicide is not painful for you then? Karissa is much more different from you, much better..more happier and she really made me happy. Me and her love kids, so she said she wants five or more! I totally agree with her.. Kids are the ones who brings the family together.. So, we think of some names..so her suggestions were, Kiley, Xaiver, Victoria, Oliver and Jasper. Mine were Vanessa, Aiden, Emily, Kayden and Jake. She said she like the name Aiden and Kayden if our kids were twins. OKay, this may sound crazy but I really really wants kids with someone who wants it as much as me. Karissa is perfect but..I don't know.. I want to change..but..I may be disown by this family coz I know that my parents won't bloody understand me..ughhh!! I just want to be with someone, but its just hard..some people just don't understand.. *sniffs*


Owh well.. I'll get my own kids someday..well, I hope..
and it will be with someone that I love the most! :D

Missing mode

Okay, today was the Disimon Clan Party and I'm not in the mood to go but I forced myself to go. If I didn't go, what would the people will say? Although I don't mix well with them, somehow some of my cousin likes to hangout with me, talking about music or stuff. Being crazy is also part of it. Here's the funny part, me and Ruby were being desperate, she wants a boyfriend and I want a girlfriend, we both are wishing for it in desperate mode, was LMAO! She wants her boy of her dreams, and I want my emo girl. Nuff said bout the funny part, so here's the sad part just now. Me and Hazel were talking about relationships, she told me about her nightmare about her boyfriend and I told whats going on with my relationship which didn't work out well. So, suddenly Ruby and Titin went to my place and asked what happen between me and that person, why we broke up. At first I don't want to tell them, but they're good at persuading me to tell, I lost. It was hurtful for me but what the heck, it'll be better just to let it out, to ease the pain a little bit. So I told them what happened two months ago, I told them the exact details. I told them that the person hurt me many times but I was never angry. That person hurt me on my birthday which makes them shock and angry. Then I moved on to the part where I let that person go although its hurtful. I started to cry from there. I told them, all the messages that Vans sent me were all meaningless after all, and its heart breaking when deleting all the texts in my phone. From there, my tears couldn't stop flowing. Ruby, Titin and Hazel trying to calm me down but I just couldn't stop. I reminisce all of the happy memories when I'm with Vans.Of all the people I've been with, she's the only one that I ever truly loved. What she did to me, yes its beyond repair, but I still love her. Call me stupid but I really do. Even my friends says that she is really destroying me by hurting me. Now, its all over. I'm not angry, I'm just hurt deeply inside me, my heart is torn and haven't been sew up again. I somehow really find it hard to forgive. Hazel says just forgive and forget, yes I did that when me and her were together, but after what she did, OMG..its hard to forgive. How can you forgive someone that says I love you and wants to get back with you, then the next day that person took it back and says he/she were drunk at that time..its hurtful right? I do want to forgive her, its just that, its really hard. But really, someone managed to cheer me up a little and I'm grateful for it. I really wished that she sees me more than just a friend in those amazing eyes. Okay, being desperate there, but I really wished for that. It made me not believe in santa tho coz that big guy haven't give me the ultimate gift ever..Someone to call my own. I know its being greedy and all but all I want is to love someone and that someone love me back and love me for who I am. Is it that hard to ask? Owh well, I know that person is out there somewhere, I just have to use all that I've got to find that person. But now, I really want to forgive Vans coz I hate keeping grudges in me. I'm not like that kind of person.

This year, 2009, is almost came to an end. For me, its so many downs rather than ups except that the person I met cheers me up only christmas day and I'm grateful for it. I've really changes alot after the break up. Like how? My friends say that I'm more cheerful, LOL idk that. But I can feel that I'm becoming a little matured and its so not me! I'm beginning to love kids, and turning into a hopeless romantic. Gawd! I seriously don't want that. I love collar stripes tee now coz its awesome! I have many of them now, thanks to my parents for buying me all those. I know its bad, I like to flirt and I'm trying to stop now. I drink too much and got in hangover mode each time. I'm 19 next year in July, getting old..OMG! All of these, happens for a reason and I just have to deal with it although I hate it. Countdown to 2010!!

upset mode

Today is the day after Christmas..just got home from a Caroling X'mas Party, not that bad tho..was okay. Had a lil bit fun but owh well. Tomorrow its the Disimon Clan and I think I won't go. Not in the mood, coz some of the people there I despise, I don't mix well with them. Well, I've been upset since morning. When I woke up, I'm in upset mode. I don't know why, coz I think its the mood swings have kicked in. I'm just wondering why I can't find someone to call my own. I'm a loser when it comes to relationship. And I hated myself for being a hopeless romantic..ergh! But the last time, I fall..I mean, really fall in love, I ended up getting hurt. Dammit! But I know one thing for sure, I really do like Monique. I mean "like" as in LOVE. But the problem is, I'm just a friend in her eyes. I feel a bit down by it, but I'll live. I just hope to find someone is near to me where I can hold/kiss/hug/cuddle with that person. I'm getting sick for long-distant relationship. Its like I'm talking to a person that didn't exist but they do only in the internet/mobile world. You can't actually see them or hold them. Even if they turn on their webcam, yeah you can the their face but only that. Its hurtful sometimes. I really do hope I found someone that I really can call my own and lives near to me, where we both can meet each other. Its going to be eaffin hard, I'm sure about it. Nuff said about this, the other reason why I was upset coz its like I'm the black sheep in this family. Everything I didn't do, I get blamed on. I mean everything!! You know how painful it is to endure it all?! They blamed it all on me. I do this! I do that! Blah..blah..blah..even I couldn't find the answer myself. Its really making me depressed, and yes I want to cut. I promise to someone that I wouldn't touch that razor ever again but the pain inside me is too hurtful. The only way for me to calm down is to see blood. I know its crazy but I like it. I don't have any sickness in me or anything. I'm just stressed out! I might do something stupid and that someone will go, blah..blah..blah on me again. UGH


I just want to be really happy for once in my god forsaken life!

Christmas Day! :D

Before begin, I just want to say Merry Christmas to all of you! May God bless you always. Okay, christmas is not as bad as I thought unlike the other years. So many thing that has happened to me this year. I managed to find my true self well kinda. I've changed a lot after the break up with Vanessa two months ago and I know wear different color shirts. Unlike wearing black shirts all the time. Other than that, I'm also into collar tee now. I'm getting matured, oh gawd! I feel like its not me but owh well, people needs changing in the life. I'm more cheerful now, more open..likes to be silly and oh my gawd, I'm drinking for goodness sake. I never like to drink before but now I drink like hell. Okay..for this year's christmas, someone has just made my day. Her name is Monique. Seriously, she actually made me the most cheerful person today. When she smiled, I get happy. Its so sad that we lived far from each other, she's in Perth and I'm stuck in Sabah. UGH! I wanna meet her so badly, we both could hangout together and it'll be awesome. She said to me even the ice cubes would get jealous of us. I don't know what she meant by that but its funny! I don't know, I think I may like her. It's begins when I try to help to not to cut herself and help her to be happy, I ended up by falling for her. But in her eyes, I'm just a friend, nothing more than that. I asked my friends, and they say that I should asked her. OMG! It would never be the same if I asked her. What if she says "no", gosh! That would be hurtful but at least I know that she only wants to be friends. But everytime I talk or text with her, I feel happy. It eases the pain inside me. I really want to tell her but I'm afraid if it will ruin our friendship. What if she thinks i'm a freak and avoid me? That would kill me completely. Maybe I should just see and what happens. Its the best christmas day today. It was alright. She made me happy, and I'm glad. Hope for next year will be more merrier and changes shall occur. I'll be 19 next year in July 10th. Getting older each year. *sigh* owh well, thats life.

Anyways, Merry Christmas to all of you!

self-reflecting

Well, its almost Christmas. The time where most people wait each year. Full of joy and happiness among families around the world. But tell, what is really Christmas means to you? Is it all about the presents? Keep receiving but never giving? What all those needy people will be doing during Christmas? Is there any kind Samaritan who is willing to give them Christmas? There are so many needy people out there and yet they're being ignored. I know most of us are not that rich or anything, but God has given us life, love, everything. We should appreciate it all, why not being thankful to God by helping others? Most people when it comes to this time of the year, its all about the presents and shopping for new clothes and stuff. I mean, what happen to Jesus? The true meaning of Christmas, Jesus is the real deal. Not shopping or stuff. What happen to the true spirit of Christmas? Celebrating the coming of our savior? The one who saves us all from damnation. Jesus! We should be thankful to him.

I 'm writing this blog to reflect myself during this festive season. All I think is about shopping and shopping. I forgot what is the true meaning of Christmas. That what made me not in the mood for Christmas this year. All I think is about new clothes and stuff, I never think about Jesus or anything. Yes, I'm a christian, a roman catholic in fact. I do go to church every sunday. I know my mistakes and yet I kept doing it again. Yes, I do go to confession every year but it does not stop me from doing mistakes. This year has been the hardest year for me. Why? It is because getting into college, meeting new people and being in a new world. I'm not use to new environment, its hard for me to adapt new things especially involves meeting new people. Other than that, I got my heart broken many times this year by the person I love the most. Its broken beyond repair. I feel so bad flirting with people who has meet me just to forget the person who have hurt me. But again, another person came into my life and manage to heal this broken heart. She actually managed to heal my heart. I consider this person as my early Christmas present from Santa. Because this person had given me so much happiness in me. Made me realize Christmas is all about loving each other, loving other people and love among ourselves. This person has changed me wholly and I love the person dearly. Christmas is not just about receiving or new stuff, I now can say its about being loving and caring towards each other. Make peace with your enemies, make peace with your family if you don't have a good relationship with them. Me here, is trying to forgive the person who have hurt me, and I know its going to be very hard to do it. I'm not even sure if that person deserves to be forgive. I don't keep grudges in me, I never want to take revenge on someone because I know its not worth it. Doing that will make it more worse and eventually you're the one who's gonna get hurt again. I have a friend who loves revenge and gosh her life sucks.

Anyway, my wish for this Christmas is for every family to sit down and spend time with each other, use the time to talk, smile and laugh. I love my family very much and they meant the world to me. Without them, I wouldn't be in college by now. They taught me well in life. Also not to forget all of my aunts and uncles, all of them are awesome as! I'm grateful for everything that God has given me.

I now can say you're a bitch!

Two months have passed since that incident involves us two, its still stained my memories. The memories of you, tainted everything in me. Since then, its hard for me to find someone to love. But what you did to me was beyond repair and it hurts so much. It's gonna be hard to forgive you. I can't forget, okay?! Somehow I think I still have feelings for you. I talked to my friends about it, she said you're entirely destroying me. At first, I don't agree with her coz at that time, you mean so much to me. What happen to the words you texted me last time, "I will never leave you. I love you forever and always". Do you really mean it when you say it to me. What about the thing you promised me? You never even try to keep it. You know how much does it hurts me knowing that you promised that you'll never do it again but you keep on doing it. You know who made me realize that being with you was a mistake? I met this girl, her name is Karissa. I was so sad and I told her about you. Guess what she said? She was so angry and called you a "bitch". When I told my friend about it, she also agrees with me. Came to think of it, you are one. After what you did to me 2 months ago, yes you are one. You left me to be with another person, thinking here you and him are going to be happy together. But no, you broke off with him and be with another person. I now can really say IT WAS A MISTAKE FOR LOVING YOU. You know what? Karissa has made me happy. She's different from you, she's not like you, and she's way better than you. All you do is making me sad, believe it or not I was never angry with you coz I love you so much. Really, I was never angry at you and yet you keep hurting me. I know you didn't realize it. When I went to college and its hard for me to talk to you, I cried you know. When I called you, it makes me happy to hear your voice but at the same time I was sad. I cried many times coz of you. I never told you this coz I don't want to make you worried.


Now, I realized.. you're a bitch! Thanks to Karissa. She have healed what has broken inside me, she always made me smile. I love her dearly and she means the world to me. I hope you realize yourself that you made a mistake being with me. I hope you do.
I REGRET IT ALL!

ughhh!

OMG! Its like 3.52am and I can't sleep. Woke up just now, my head hurts, my whole body hurts. My nose is runny and it hurts. It's time to go see the doctor, if possible tomorrow. I can't stand it anymore. It really hurts. What is my sickness? Its a combination of flu and fever, so might as well call it "FLUVER"
I've never felt like this before, when I come down with flu and fever, its not that painful as this one. Its like a torch pinned through my body. One word for that, "OUCH!"

our relationship officially ends..

20/October/2009
exactly this day..
my friendship/relationship with Vanessa ends forever.
She have deleted on msn but I won't delete her coz I got this feeling which keep me from deleting her and idk what it is..
but I will try to move on and someday I will find somebody that I will love as much as I love her.. i'm going to be happy although inside me it hurts so much..


No more thinking bout her...

I GAVE YOU HIM, WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE? HE LOVE YOU, HE’S THERE FOR YOU, HE’LL TAKE CARE OF YOU..BUT I’M HERE, FAR AWAY FROM YOU. I CAN’T EVEN HOLD YOUR HAND, I CAN’T EVEN HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS, I CAN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING WITH YOU COZ I’M NOT THERE! HE’S THERE FOR YOU, HE CAN HOLD YOU IN HIS ARMS AND HE CAN PROTECT YOU. I CAN’T DO ALL OF THAT COZ I’M BLOODY FAR AWAY FROM YOU! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO LET GO SOMEONE YOU LOVED THE MOST? SOMEONE YOU LOVED MORE THAN YOURSELF? SOMEONE YOU LOVED MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD? DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS? HOW HURTFUL? DO YOU KNOW HOW HURT I AM NOW? LET ME TELL YOU THIS, I’M SO HURT, DEEPLY INSIDE ME IS LIKE BLEEDING BLOOD. MY HEART BLEEDS THEN SHATTERED INTO MILLIONS PIECES. I DO ALL OF THAT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH IT HURTS ME. I DON’T CARE IF I BLEED FROM MY EYES OR DIE. I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. DON’T YOU GET IT? YES, I STILL LOVE YOU, BUT IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, YOU MUST LEARN TO LET THEM GO. I LET YOU GO IN ORDER TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I CAN’T BEAR TO SEE YOU GET HURT EVERYTIME. I’M SURE YOU’LL BE HAPPY WITH HIM. ALTHOUGH WHEN I THINK OF IT, IT HURTS, BUT AT THE SAME TIME I’M SMILING COZ I KNOW THAT YOU’RE SMILING TOO WHEN YOU’RE WITH HIM. THERE’S NO MISTAKE THAT I SEE IN YOU THAT YOU ALSO LOVE HIM. I WANT YOU TO FORGET ME, FOR ME IT’S HARD TO FORGET YOU BUT I WILL TRY. IT’S VERY HURT TO MOVE ON; IT’S SO HARD FOR ME TO NOT LOVE YOU. BE HAPPY FOR ME OKAY? I WISH YOU BOTH A HAPPY LIFE AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

loving you was my favourite mistake..

Today is the most saddest day in my life... and it's really happening now.. remember how much I wanted to break up with vans? Yep, the day is today. I'm both sad and relieve. I'm sad because I felt a part of me empty. I'm relieve coz there's nothing to think about anymore.. I'm going to miss our memories that we've shared.. I have bout 1000 or more texts from vans in my phone.. It's hard to delete.. OMG! I think I'm regretting it..shit! NO!!! I must move on and forget bout it. Pretend that I never met vans..pretend everything was just a fairytale dream.. I don't care! Well, I hope they both have a better life.. i'm sure vans will be happy without me in her life..more happier when she's with alex. They both good for each other. All I want is for her to be happy..as much as it really hurts me so deeply..like a knife stroke into my heart..her happiness is more important. *sigh* ow well..here comes single life again..

I really want you back...

My heart longs for you, my soul dies for u, my eyes cry for you, my empty arms reach for you.

I keep thinking of you since the day we've talked. I know we've had our time together and it was over in the middle of march but I've realized that I still love you although 5 months already passed without you with me. I still have feelings for you.. and you don't know that. But I really want you to know that. Ahh, when are you going on msn?? I want you..I want you..I want you..whoa..being greedy there..hehe..but still, I WANT YOU! Idk why tho coz, I have this feeling that you still love me.. dammit! I'm a hopeless romantic person.. which is bad! Bad me! But..I'm with Vans..but..but..so many buts aye.. argh! I just want you back!

missing piece of puzzle in my life..

It's been a while since I last blog... was too busy with college and stuff...
okay..my life so far..there are ups and downs as usual but mostly downs coz of that someone..
me and vans, we had a fight on sunday..which nearly ends our relationship but it didn't happen coz we love each other too much..and now, I'm disturbed coz the thought, "Do you really love me?" came to haunt me again. I don't know why tho coz I really feel like you don't love me anymore..or maybe you never really love me like you said you were.. Its really making me confuse when it comes to you..
Okay..forget bout the down part..let's talk bout the up part..
well..yesterday, while I was facebooking and chatting on msn, suddenly someone I knew online and that someone is my ex, Eri. Believe it or not, I actually think that I was dreaming..I couldn't believe it! It was in March since we last talked and yesterday we both talk. She's still the same Eri, that I've loved before. Same craziness, same depression, same everything and I miss all that. To be honest, I still love her till now..maybe more than I love vans coz I was smiling like a mad man yesterday..smiling to myself.. it was funny and weird tho.. but seriously, I want to be with Eri again. But I don't know if she still feel the same way about me.. I miss the 5 months we had, the laughs, the jokes, everything.. texting everyday.. she texted me at 6.00am everyday..yep, I miss that all. She's the missing puzzle piece that has been missing from my life.. and I want that puzzle piece back... I'm not sure when she's going to be on msn tho but I hope that she will..and I can't bloody text her coz her parents took her phone..thats what she said.. I don't know! All I want is for her to know how I feel bout her.. that's all.. but from far what I see in her, she moved on...and I'm still stucked in the past...

I'm a droob...

I'm a droob in believing that we're over..
but now I'm sure that we're staying with each other..
Forever and Always <3

thinking of...

Thinking everything about you makes my heart bleed...
I don't know if I should end it of not.. I don't know if I should be with you anymore..
Everything is becoming a blur now.. everything about us...
How can I love a person when the person does not even want to talk to me????
Fuck all of this! I can't stand anymore..
I've been thinking a lot now..and its really tearing my heart apart..
you're there and i'm here.. I just couldn't bear with the distance..
we're falling apart each day...
even so, my feelings for you are still the same.. don't you understand that?
I'm just a fool..a fool fell for you..
Leave me alone for now....



*sadness mode*

Breathless

Today at Social Study class, I feel so bored..Idk why tho..coz this is the first time I feel bored in SS class..that's where my mood swings started to kicked in. Then came the "Thoughts" and something had crossed my mind..I really don't know what it is but that something really hurts me..a poem popped up in my mind..here it is..

Breathless

Walking this path leads to nowhere
The skies growl above
Thunders crashing there and here
With the feeling of anger
I looked down to the ground

Walking with my head down
With a feeling of sadness in me
I cursed this world for being so cruel
So cruel that it hurts me inside
I cursed, “Damn you!”

As I walked on the grey pavements
With a face filled with sorrow
Tears flooded my eyes
Flowing down through my cheeks
Bloody tears

I stopped and stand on the ground
Drowned in my own tears
Gasping for air
Feeling weak inside me
Breathless

It was sad but yet funny xD

Okay..we were given a group task by our English Study lecturer. A task which requires us to tell a story based on the given sentence by her.The sentence was like this,

"The sound of the door slamming..."

Then we have to continue it. So my groups members were myself, Candice, Eudora and Gracie. We sat together and try to came up with an interesting story. We thought of horror, thriller, comedy and romance. Which one do we choose? Read the story that I made and you'll know it. By the way, the story made my friends cry. I'm so proud that I made a boy cried with my story! A boy! He cried!!! Bahahahahahaahahahahaha.......

Here's the story.. Title: I Love You, Goodbye

The sound of the door slamming makes my heart pounds so fast. I wonder who had slammed the door. The feeling of curiosity bloomed inside me. Suddenly I heard an unfamiliar voice calling me from downstairs. I felt the chills sent down to my spine. I wonder who that person could be. I was alone in my room and I’m scared if that person downstairs could be a burglar, rapist or even worse, a murderer. I’m beginning to imagine horrible things in my head. I felt the urge to go downstairs. I grabbed my baseball bat and slowly crept out from my bedroom door. I tip-toed to the stairs, slowly walking down step by step and finally, I’ve reached downstairs. I peeked through my kitchen then to my living room. It was weird because there is no one in any of those places and yet I’ve heard someone calling me. This situation is starting to scare me. I quickly ran up the stairs and walked to my room. While I was walking, Chase suddenly crossed my mind. In case you’re wondering who is Chase, he’s my boyfriend. We’ve been together for almost six years that is since we were sixteen years old in high school. I’ve reached my room. I turned the door knob slowly and what I saw in my room nearly give me a heart attack. There he is, standing in front of me, with his blue mesmerizing eyes and his angelic smile. We barely see each other because he lives in Australia to further his study there. And now, he is standing in front of me. Chase is standing in front of me. I could not believe my eyes. It’s like I’m in a dream and I need a good pinch on my arm to prove this is not a dream. I stared at him blankly. Suddenly I felt a soft pinch on my arm. It was Chase who pinched me.
“What is that for?” I asked him.
He smiled and said, “It looks like you couldn’t believe that I was standing in front of you so I gave you a soft pinch on your arm.”
I gave him a grin.
He stare at me with his beautiful eyes, “It’s been a while since we last seen each other. How are you my dear?”
I noticed that his voice has changed. No wonder I couldn’t recognize his voice when he was calling me. I held his face with my hands and say, “I’m fine, thank you for asking.”
I grabbed his hand and bring him to my bed. We both sat on my bed. We talked for hours. He said he missed me so much so he decided to go back to Sabah to meet me. I was flattered when he does that just to meet me. I gave him a hug and he smiled at me. He had a soft sweet smile that made my heart melts. Suddenly, there was a silent moment between us. He just stares at me. The expression on his face had changed. I saw sadness in his eyes.
“Is there something wrong dear?” I asked him with concern in my voice.
He turned his face away from me. I was worried now. I gently held his face to face mine. To my shock, I saw tears in those beautiful eyes.
“Chase, why are you crying?” He kept staring at me with those teary eyes. Our eyes met each other. Then suddenly he came nearer to me. I startled a bit. He asked me to close my eyes. I closed my eyes slowly. In few seconds, I felt his lips touches with mine. He kissed me passionately and I was drowning in it. His lips became more urgent, I felt the urge to go further but something stopped me from going forward.
I pushed him slowly and said, “Maybe this is not the right time. I’m sorry.”
He smiled and kissed me gently on my forehead. “Let’s go for a dinner. I’m hungry.”
I nodded and he told me to get changed into a dress. I wonder where he would take me.

He went out from my room and he said that he will wait downstairs. He closed the door behind him. I walked to my closet and took out a black lavender dress that he gave me on my birthday two years ago. I matched the dress with my black stiletto heels. It took me about an hour to get myself done. I went downstairs and saw him waiting for me at my door with a bouquet of white and red roses. He had changed into his tuxedo and he looked amazingly handsome. As I walked down the stairs, he kept smiling at me.
“How do you change so fast?” I asked him.
He giggled, “There was an empty room near the bathroom so I changed there.”
He handed me the bouquet and said, “You’re the most beautiful thing that had happen in my life and I’m glad that I’m in love with you.”
I hugged him tightly.
He walked me to his car. “Emily, before you go in, I need to blindfold you. I don’t want to spoil the surprise.” I nodded at him. He blindfolded me and he led me to sit at the passenger seat beside him. I felt the car was moving.
“Where we are going for dinner?”
“Just wait and see love.”
After few minutes passed, the car stopped moving. He went out from the car and opened the door and held my hand. I felt the cooling breeze blowing through me and I heard waves crashing. I realized that we’re at the beach.
“Come and follow me. Don’t worry, just hold my hand.”
“But, where are we going?”
“Just trust me, okay?”
He held my hand and I followed him cautiously.
“Watch your step.”
After few seconds of walking, he unties the blindfold. The scene was beautiful. There was a table for both of us, with a candle in the middle. It was a candlelight dinner. He was so romantic.
I looked at him and said; “You do all of this just for me?”
“For the girl I loved so much, I’m willing to do anything.”
I gave him a kiss on his cheek. We both sat and the waiter served us dinner.
It was a lovely evening because of the cooling breeze and the sound of the waves crashing to the shore. A violinist came and played a soft song.
“Care to dance my love?”
“I’m not a good dancer, Chase. I think I’ll pass.”
He looked at me with disapproving look, “Nonsense, I’ve seen you dance before and you were good at it.”
I didn’t argue any further so I got up and danced with him. We both danced and danced till sunset. Suddenly, he stopped dancing. His face turned to a serious look.
I asked him, “Chase, is there something wrong? You were also like this today in my room. Tell me what is wrong.”
“There’s nothing wrong, Emily. It’s just....” He stopped for a moment.
“What Chase? Tell me. You’re making me worried.”
“Emily, you’re the girl I felt in love with. We were both young when we fell for each other. Throughout the years we’ve been through, our love grew stronger.”
Then he reaches for something inside his pocket and he took out a small black box. He kneeled down in front of me. He opened the box and I saw a ring with a beautiful diamond on it. He gently grabs my hand.

“Emily, when I breathe, you’re the first thing that comes into my mind and to my heart. My heart beats only for you and without you it will stop. I want to spend my whole life with you and I promise that I will never stop loving you. Emily Robson, will you marry me?”
I was touched. Tears of joy ran down from my eyes.
“Yes! Yes! I will!” I yelled in a joyful voice.
He stands up and he kissed me. My heart was beating fast. We decided to get marry after two days from the day he proposed to me. There are a lot of preparations to be made in two days. I told my parents about it and they both were happy for me especially my mum. She helped me with all the preparations including my wedding dress, wedding cakes and the venue. The two days passed very quickly. Finally, it’s our wedding day. I woke up with a smile on my face. My best friend, Ashley, was there to help me to dress up. When I put on my wedding dress and stand in front of the mirror, I was happy. I’m about to marry with the man I love more than anything in this world. As I was about to go downstairs, my phone rang. I picked up.
“Good morning. Is this Emily?”
“Yes, it’s Emily speaking. How may I help you sir?”
“I’m not allowed to tell you on the phone. It’s about Chase. I need you to come down to the hospital now. It’s urgent.”
I was shocked, I ran out from the house door and into my car. Tears start to cover my eyes and I was praying hard that nothing bad will happen to Chase. I reached the hospital in wedding dress. I panicked, I ran here and there. A doctor came up to me and asked, “Are you Emily, Chase’s fiancée?
“Yes, I am. What happened to Chase? We are getting married today.”
He was silent for a moment.
“Please, tell me. Is there something wrong?” I asked impatiently.
The doctor finally spoke, “I’m sorry to tell you but Chase is gone.”
I broke down in tears, “Why do you mean by he is gone?!”
The doctor was shocked when I asked him that question. He looked at me, “He didn’t tell you that he has cancer? I’ve been treating him for about 3 years now.”
I cried more, “No, he didn’t tell me that he had cancer. I guess he doesn’t want me to worry about him. But why the hell he didn’t tell me? Why you didn’t save him, doctor? Why?”
The doctor puts his hand on my shoulder, “We’ve done everything we could but the tumours inside his lungs were too big and it can’t be saved.”
I cried more and more. I felt like my whole life was falling apart. My heart was shattered into million pieces. Suddenly, a nurse came up to me and handed me a piece of paper. She said it was from him. He wrote it before he died. I opened the letter and read it.

Dear Emily,
I’m sorry that I’ve been keeping this from you for the past three years. I don’t want you to worry about me. It tore my heart apart to see you sad. I’m sorry I have to leave you. My time is almost up. Please, be strong. I don’t want you to be sad. I will always be in your heart. Look out for the shiniest star at night. That star is me smiling down on you so you would not feel lonely. Here’s a poem that I made for you,

Goodbye my dear
I shall make it clear
I’m not sure if you can see
But you take the breath right out of me
I may not be beside you everyday
But my love for you will stay forever true

You’re like the moon in the starry night,
You amongst the darkness
Provide me light
You shone my path
That leads me to you

I believe the same thing
Are meant to be
Cause I believe in love
And yours was meant for me

My heart is one with you,
I wrote your name in my heart,
And forever it will stay.
I love you,
Goodbye.

Notes: Please, DON'T attempt to copy this story. I made it myself, it's my work. So, please..just read and tell me what do u think of it. Your reading will be most appreciated.

Thanks =D

xoxo

Happy Friendship Day!! xD

It's 6.58 am now and I just want to say good morning and.....
HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!!!! xD :D

Why is it so hard to understand you?

Gosh, why is it so hard for me to understand of what you're going through now? When I asked you, you said that you don't know. It's like you're telling lies about your life. I've known you with lies alongside. I just want to know what is your problem so that I can help. I know you're wondering why do I cared you so much about you. You want the answers? First, you're my friend and as a friend, I don't want you to get hurt. Secondly, it would be such a waste for you to die at a young age. You would not experience life and thirdly, I have this feeling which makes me wouldn't stop caring about you. This feeling that turned into a love kind of feeling which I've kept it for quite sometime. I think our friendship is on the verge of breaking down which I can feel it will happen soon. I want to ask you this question. Am I a friend to you? i'm sure you will just answer yes but what does your heart truly say? That I want to know. I guess, I will leave it that way then....

I so HATE today!!! >:(

Heyy peeps!
I'm blogging in my room..which is in IPGM Kampus Gaya. Glad they have wi-fi here but certain websites are blocked! Damn! Okay nuff said bout yadayada..
Let's get straight to the point.. about what happened today during GERKO time...
VOLLEYBALL!!! Say hello to major pain! xD
I'm just gonna say once.. My hands are hurt!! They're bloody swollen!!
It's like purple and blue in color...pity me :(
Someone! PLease...cure this bloody pain..
Surely..tomorrow I can't write anything..

I'm sick with all of this!!

Heyy..it's been a while since I last update my blog. Its coz I'm busy with my orientation last week. No time for laptop or fun. Gosh, I'm hella tired. Well, the institute was okay.. But there's wi-fi in each room which is a PLUS for me. Tidak boring lah.. Not like in matrix, tamaha wi-fi..sheeshh... Well, I met new friends again! They're ok and very open-minded and I'm beginnning to like them. I'm staying with seniors..whoa, SENIORS! and i'm hella shy around them..I'm gettingg a feeling that my life there would be fun and stressful at the same time. Okay, nuff said bout college. What happen today was sickening me. Wait for the sickening part, on to the happy part first. Today, I bought a new shirt again. On the shirt it stated that,
"SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT DAYS" and I'm in love with that shirt. It truly reflects how I feel each day. Okay, on to the sickening part..owh I so hate of what happen just now. How can you love someone when that someone cares more about his/her relationship with other person, meaning that his/her bff. Ugh, it's stressful. It makes you think that, if she/he loves you or their bff. I'm a bit jealous, yes..jealous. At least, I said it rather than keeping it. It also makes me think, is she/he cheating? I feel like I wanted to give up but I love Vans very much. I know, I'm in a long-distant relationship, but we trust and we loved each other so much. But the truth is, I can't stand it when Vans become sad or depressed. Its making me sad as well. I'M SICK WITH ALL OF THIS!! But I can't give up. Vans stopped being suicide coz of me. I'm confused and pretty much getting to my nerves. Ahhhhh! Idk what to do, seriously. But I don't want us to end. Sadness filled my whole body, with a feeling of anger and rage.. *looks away*

well..that was pleasant..

Today was.....AWESOME!! and pleasant..hehe.. My dad, me and elyn went to watch Drag Me To Hell at growball. That movie nearly gave me a heart attack. Seriously O.o but at the same time it was funny. You should have seen elyn just now. She borrowed my hoodie and guess what she do with it? She zipped it until it covers her face and the wore the hoodie throughout the movie. It was really funny if you saw her. Teehee! Damn, that movie gave me the chills..urgh! :P Screaming everywhere..heart pounding every scene..I have to close my eyes for goodness sake. Lol, I can't stand the excitement of the movie..hehe.

Now, i'm begging you please go to this site, Tun Dr.Mahathir's blog and VOTE whether you want teaching of Science and Maths in Bahasa Malaysia. PLEASE VOTE FOR NO! I'M BEGGING YOU! PLEASE! PLEASE! WE WANT TO GO FUTHER NOT BACKWARDS! Those who vote for "Yes", seriously..what a waste of good education towards our future, "Whackheads!".
Here's the link..
http://chedet.co.cc/chedetblog

PLEASE..PLEASE!! VOTE FOR NO! THANK YOU =D

Birthday!! Woohoo xD

Happy Birthday to me! Teehee! I'm 18 years old! I'm old! Noooooooo!!! But I can finally go into clubs! Woohoo! Jugs..here I come! And I can mosh! Finally! Woooo! Moshing!! Hah! Like I ever been to gigs before :P owh well, I can mosh in my room while listening to BMTH.. So, today's my birthday.. First one to wish me was my mum while I was sleeping. She and Joanne went to KL today. Thanks guys for the wishes by texting me..
My gratitude goes to these following people:

• Lee Foon [first one to text me at 7.40pm]
• Effie
• Step
• Shar
• Brenndan
• Ain
• Hazel
• A1T2 class [my classmates in matriks]

Thanks guys for the wishes. But the most touching moment today is when my friend, Shazziey, called me [btw, she's my classmate in matriks A1T2] and my whole classmate was there..and they sang me a birthday song. I was so touched. My A1T2 are the best class ever! Aww..I miss them so much! I want to go back there! Huhuhu..but I can't. I want to be a teacher. And have you guys read the newspaper headlines yesterday? The government wants to teach Maths and Science in Bahasa Malaysia. I was both shocked and angry. Why would they revert back?! I don't agree with their decision. We are so going backwards. What happen if students went to other country to study? I mean, they learned Maths and Science in bahasa when their in school and what if they futher their studies in other country? They would learn all things in English. I'm a soon-to-be English teacher..well in 6 years..and I disagree with the government decision on this. My major is English and my minor is English Literature and MathScience. Ahhh..this is so not happening! Well..mind that for a while. Its my birthday and why should I be angry today anyway? Owh well...

Down there, are some pics of my classmates, A1T2..

During KAKOM

With Miss Masitah beside me..

During my farewell party on Friday..
I miss A1T2 so so much..heaps!!

I despised this confused feelings in me

Heyy.. i'm lazy to update my blog everyday. So..umm, I'm updating it today xD
Next week, i'll be leaving home again. Thank goodness, its nearer to home. Gosh, I hope the orientation is not bad as my lecturer said it was. Before that, Rest In Peace MJ! I will remember your moon-walk forever. So..i've been thinking alot these past few days. Actually, since last week. Let me ask you something. What is it feel like to have confused feelings in you towards two people? I'm having it now. I'm already madly deeply in love with this person..then there's this another person I met when I was in Labuan. First, it was just a crush then I'm beginning to develop feelings for that person. I mean, this person's smile..when you see it, it makes your heart sings..like when you're angry, if you see that person's smile, it will make you calm. Seriously, i'm not joking around. To add up, this person is always in my head. God..I feel so guilty now. I'm already taken and I love V. I can't like other people other than V. We've been together for like 11 months and one year together anniversary is just around the corner. Although we are far, I mean very far from each other, we'll never stop loving each other. We talked on msn, and I called 1 or 2 times a week. Ooookkaayyy..nuff said. About this person that I'm crushing on.. the eyes and the smile..wooed me. My friend advised me, not to fall for that person coz I'm already with V. Ahhhh! I'm seriously confused. I can't cheat. I love V very much. Argh! Mind me..idk where to express myself so I express it here.. neways, thanks for reading..

xoxo

Toilet Buddies Moments!! [My last night..nooo!]

As promised, here's the pics of us, The Toilet Buddies, on my last night staying at matriks. We took this pics using my webcam at 11.30pm which is the time for us to go to the toilet. But cbf :P its my last night. Hehe..I know you don't know what "cbf" means..but owh well..
The members...
- Me [Jaceyy] -
- Eqah [mummy] -
- Audrina [audy] -
- Rose -
- Nora -

Enjoy the pics...

xoxo

Farewell to KM-HELL..Greetings To MAKTAB GAYA

Heyy..i'm back peeps! Back in Penampang! I came home yesterday. I can't believe that I'm finally home! HOME! But, I missed my friends there. My roomies. I met so many friends from different places and they all are so nice and supportive. I don't know if I can find friends like that when I'm in maktab. Its coz, i'm the only one from smsm who got accepted there. And my lecturer said the orientation was one of the worse orientation of all maktabs. She said that because she studied there. Now, i'm scared. Gah! Gosh, I so miss my roomies.. Eqah whom I called mummy, Nora with her alarm that woke us up and Rose who likes to study. I also meet a friend in the toliet..LOL! Her name is Audrina, she's from Convent and we're on the same floor but different room. She lives just across my room and she's hella cute. LOL! She's my toilet buddy along with my roomies. We go to the toilet every night at 11.30pm. Seriously.. Later, I'll show you in my next post pictures of us on my last night staying at matriks. TOILET BUDDIES MOMENT!! Down there are the pics where I celebrate my birthday with them. It's early to celebrate coz my birthday is on the 10th July which is on friday. I wanted to celebrate with them coz I know I won't be with them on my birthday. So enjoy the pics...

Me and Shar...

ahhh...kiss me?

My smsm peeps..5 years we've been classmates in smsm..

Goofy faces :P

Finally! A decent smile from them.. =D

My roomies!

From left: Eqah, Rose and Nora.

Woohoo! All in!

There's Audrina xD

aww..with the cute faces :)

Cheese!!! Hot smiles!

My Cake!

Chocolate American Cake!

Yumm >.<

Home Sweet Home! LMAO! Only for 2 nights!

Hey..hey.. I just got back from Labuan and now I'm at home. Home sweet home. I missed home..hOME! haha..so funny when me and my friends in the ferry. We were like laughing without reasons. HAHAHA! LMAO! We sempat lagi took some pics this. Banyak lagi bah in my phone but malas mau upload. Mel said don't kasi yang buruk-buruk punya. Hehe..

Just thoughts...inner thoughts..

I woke up at dawn,

Woke up with a long yawn,

Staring at the ceiling,

Wishing that my life would end,

Why is this world so cruel?

Filled with darkness,

Hatred,

Sorrow,

Pain and suffering.

It's tearing me apart,

It's breaking me down,

I felt the emptiness in me,

Soulless,

It makes me weak,

The pain in my heart,

Will never be mend,

It will stay forever broken,

Till the day I die.

Wrapped In Your Arms *Joanne you must read this*

I'm here..to stay..nothing can seperate us..

And I know..I'm okay..

You cradle me gently...

Wrapped in your arms..

I'm home..

Hey..hey.. damn, its been a while since I last update my blog. Well, it's not my fault coz of too many assignments. Noticed the lyrics above? What do you think about it? I think it's beautiful. The song is called "Wrapped In Your Arms" by Fireflight. So much had happened during college time. It has been a month for me in matriculation. A bloody month and yet I feel, its like years there. Another 11 months to go. Oooh jolly..can't wait..HAH! As if! I've been dying to get out from the cage. Seriously its tearing me apart. Owh well..life must go on. I haven't done my account, economy, maths and business management tutorial tho. Hehe..i'm lazy. Unlike all my roommates..they were like study and study and study..wow! Stress bah juga tengok dorang study. I'm at my aunt's house now..using her neighbour's wi-fi. Oooohh..i'm evil..mwahahahahaha! LOL! Yesterday was a sad moment for me. Coz, yesterday was perjumpaan mentor-menti and our activity was telling our story about the past, present and future life. The lecturer asked us to draw pictures bout it. So, my story begin like this. In my past life, I told them that I was an ex-smsm student..happy being with my friends and spm. I also told them that I cut myself and they were all shocked including the lecturer. Move on to the present life. I drew a house and a sad face. Which mean I'm homesick. Then I started to cry when I started to talk about my mum. I cried and cried..then most of my friends started to cry. The lecturer comforted me and ask me to calm down. Okay, nuff bout the sad part. Moving on to the future. Still crying, I told them what I want to do in my future. I said to them I want to study and get a well-paid job and with all the money I have, I told them I want to migrate to Australia, bring along my parents with me and take care of them. The funny part is, when I told them that I don't want to get marry. Lol, the all giggled including the lecturer. Yay! No more tears!! Hehe.. sempat juga bah mau buat lawak. And something makes me realize yesterday. All my friends in the same tutoran as me were all supportive like when the lecturer advised me not to cut myself again, they were all like.."We're here for you!"..Gosh..you don't know how flattered I am to have such friends like that. Okay..on wednesday..someone pisses me off! Its the bloody lecturer in Science Informatics. Damn, he...gah! I don't want to talk about it! I punched the bloody wall for that and now my right hand is still hurting. Also, I voluntered myself in English class to do the MUET speaking. Not only me but also my three other friends. I know..its going to be hella fun. Hehe...so, thats all from me today...

Especially for Joanne, Jocelyn, Mum and Dad...

I missed you guys heaps and heaps! Yes, i'm homesick and I feel awful being away from home. I cried everytime I think of home. I missed using the wi-fi..I missed spunky..I missed everything. Sometimes, I feel weak witthout you all by my side. I feel like I can breakdown anytime. I almost quit that day. But something has stopped me from quitting. That something is you both, Mum and Dad. You've done so much for me and I know I must do something in return. I'm sorry for thinking about quitting. This one week, there are lots of tears coming out from my eyes..I'm sorry, I can't help but to cry and cry.. I Love you all so much..

From Labuan with Love

Greetings from Labuan

Heyy..heyy..heyy..A greeting from me from McDonald Labuan.
Gosh, every week which is on sunday I go to McD just to use the eafin wi-fi. It's coz the wi-fi at college macam tu tai..adakah Windows Live Messenger and FS pun mau block. I was like whatafack?! I mean..i have to log in into MSn for goodness sake. My social life is ruin.. NOOOOO!!! I missed Vanessa so so much. I missed Tori so much. I missed all of them...
I called Vanessa last night. You doon't how happy I am to hear her voice. I'm glad she's okay. When I was about to go, she cried because she don't want to go and wants to talk to me longer. Damn you time..hehe.. But my heart hurts knowing that she's crying. I mean, yeah I did cry last night while talking to her, its coz she wrote a poem for and she read it to me last night. The poem was beautiful, each word in each sentence and that made my eyes teary. The worst part is..I cried and she heard me crying. Gosh, i'm so emotional.. Damn hormones..stop invading my body! LOL! I'm here sitting with my friend using the wi-fi and i'm eating Sausage McMuffin! Yumm >.<>
Lol, i'm going mental if I stay longer at the college. But I seriously can't quit! I'm not a failure. Although I seriously truly despise hate the course, I can't quit. I promise myself and to mum that I will not quit although it will truly crush me.. *slowly looks down and cries softly*

The Life Of A Teenager in College

The Life Of A Teenage In College...

What is it feel like to be in college? Fun? Stressful? Freedom? Independent? Hard? Happy? Well, there are fun times..hard times..we learned to be independent. Make our own bed and breakfast. Wash our own clothes. When we're feeling down, our parents are not there to comfort you. Only their voices through the phone. When we cried, only our friends can be our comfort zone.It's so sad to think when you're here and you're far apart from your family. There's no one to make breakfast for you, you can't feel your comfortable bed, there's no one you can hug tightly. Its all through the phone. You can only hear their voices from your phone but you can't feel their hands. It makes you want to see them badly. Like me, I want to go home badly. And now I'm home but its just for a while. In 2 days, i'll be gone and back to the place where I'm supposed to be. Not to have fun but study. Study to gain knowlegde and bring home a successful person in the future. But why I get the feeling that I don't want to go back to the place? To tell you the truth, I'm weak. I can't find the strength in me. I don't want to quit. Quitting is for failures! And i'm not going to be one of them. I will stay and study there. Although its making me stressful..although the pain is eating me up..although its breaking me down..I promise myself that I will NOT quit!! I repeat, I will NOT QUIT!!

Wanna know a thing or two perhaps the whole thing about my life at Matriculation College in Labuan? Here's the 411..Ready? Let's begin...

Morning
- Woke up at 5.50 am then straight to shower
- Make own breakfast [Milo and Bread sometimes Biscuits]
- Dressed up [about 10 mins on hair]
- Doing Revision for at least 30 mins [usually Business Management and Economy]
- 7.30pm..went downstairs..wait for friends then straight to class.

Morning to Afternoon
- Tutorial and Kuliah
- Break for I hour [Lunch at Hom Cafe]
- Tutorial and Kuliah again

Evening
- 4pm..class ended..
- Went to the cafe for a while then to my room
- Shower
- Updating my "State of Union" in my laptop
- Sleep [sometimes]
- 6.30pm..dinner at cafe with friends

Night
- Study and do my tutorial
- Study the Muet [Eaffin HARD!!!]
- Play game for a while in my laptop before bed
- 11.30pm/12am went to bed
- Await for a new day to begin [New Day means New and More Torture]

For me.. I hate Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. I seriously do! Ugh..too many homeworks that day. But I mostly hate Wednesday. Wanna know why? Coz I'm not fond of the teacher teaching us Sains Informatics! He's so sarcastic..and I'm hurted sometimes by his word..
Argh! Forget it! * Hatred in me*

Home!!! But only for 4 days..aww..dang it!!!

Home! Home! Home! Home! Home! At last HOME!!!!!!!!!!

I'm at home! I can't believe it! I'm at home! I missed home so much! I missed everyone heaps!! Today was funny tho. Me, Michelle, Lona and Effie rode the speed boat to Menumbok. Dammit! My ass hurts coz of the bumpy ride. We were all very nervous. Apa gia tidak, semua pun bawa beg besar! O.O Hehe..but owh well, I made it still in one piece. I can't believe that I'm in Penampang. Seems like it was just monday yesterday. Whoa..time passed by so fast. I'm getting old day by day. Omigosh! NO! Ain't gonna happen! *swearing and cursing* #@*&%!!!! Whoopss...hehe..my bad. Mind my rudeness. Well, its my nature to swear and curse. Hehe..can't help it. LOL! I'll be going back to hell on monday tho. Yay, can't wait! Duh! Hell no! Kalau bleh ni, tidak mau balik. Hehe.. Gosh, there's so many assingment to do and some lecturers wants them next week. Talking about not being understanding. Sheesshh..dammit, give us time would ya?! I'm going to sleep for the whole day tomorrow. I'm tired. Seriously! Everyday slept at 12 am. Siapa tahan?! Penat bah.. T.T

*cries*

Hey..hey..hey..

Greetings to the people in blogging industry. I'm out from the cage of hell. LMAO! I'm at my aunt's house now. There's a wi-fi connection here. Lol, I don't know who's wi-fi. Hehe.. So..the first week of class in college..was a pain in the ass!! It's the first week for goodness sake and the lecturers gave us tones of homework!! Gah! Dammit, I can't cope with all of that. Maths..Account..Business Management..Economy..Kemahiran Dinamika..English..ugh.. Haha..i've been chosen to join the ICT 4 Me club but I turned them down. The lecturer said he wants to changed me into a college's journalist. Like what?! Moi? LOL! The first meeting was already a pain for me. He said to me..if I want to become a journalist, I must have the skill th handle the SLR. Haha...funny..so we were given SLR each..not given just borrowing..lol.. Mine was D60. The lecturer taught me on how to take pictures beautifully. One sentence I remembered he said, "Kalau mau ambil gambar, make sure background dia clean." I was like..oookkkaaayyyy.. Haha but ada juga lah gambar sa kena puji. So, I've heard many stories bout the college. Ugh..scary! O.O like the one I heard what they saw in the girl's toilet in Block A and D. Cilaka! Sa takut sdah. Buduh! Like last night me and my two roomates went to toilet together coz semua pun penakut! Hehe..funny..so cool..we bond..get to know each other..watching movies on my laptop. Hehe..gah..can't wait to go home to Sabah. Miss my dog very much. LMAO!

From Matriculation with Pain and Love

Hello..hello..hello...
At last..after 5 days of pure torture..the hellish orientation has ended!! Woop woop!!!Gosh..the faci was sooooooooo MEANNNNNN!! Everyday kena DENDA!! TEDA KERJA LAIN KA DORANG??!!! SHEESSHHH...Thank God that you all are gone..hehe..so next week, our class will begin..say hello to torture number two. Before that, let me tell you what happened during the past 5 days.... First day of orientation..at night..we were called to go to the hall.. well, I thought the hall was big enough for all of us. But guess what? It wasn't!!! grrrr......!!

The faci told us to compressed! Gah! It was pact! No room to breath...the lectures says that this year is a record coz many students fainted..wow! Everyday we got punished. The worst day ever is on Wednesday coz we were forced to do "Ketuk Ketampi" for 70 times!!! My legs are in pain!! Jalan pun tidak tentu. Hantu btul!! And and and...there's no water yesterday..wednesday..and tuesday! Fuyoohhhh!! I was smelly! LOL! Owh well...can't write to long.. At McD now..hehe..

p/s: From Labuan Matriculation College with Love, Sadness and Pain...

Missed you all heaps!!

xoxo