I'm sick with all of this!!

Heyy..it's been a while since I last update my blog. Its coz I'm busy with my orientation last week. No time for laptop or fun. Gosh, I'm hella tired. Well, the institute was okay.. But there's wi-fi in each room which is a PLUS for me. Tidak boring lah.. Not like in matrix, tamaha wi-fi..sheeshh... Well, I met new friends again! They're ok and very open-minded and I'm beginnning to like them. I'm staying with seniors..whoa, SENIORS! and i'm hella shy around them..I'm gettingg a feeling that my life there would be fun and stressful at the same time. Okay, nuff said bout college. What happen today was sickening me. Wait for the sickening part, on to the happy part first. Today, I bought a new shirt again. On the shirt it stated that,
"SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT DAYS" and I'm in love with that shirt. It truly reflects how I feel each day. Okay, on to the sickening part..owh I so hate of what happen just now. How can you love someone when that someone cares more about his/her relationship with other person, meaning that his/her bff. Ugh, it's stressful. It makes you think that, if she/he loves you or their bff. I'm a bit jealous, yes..jealous. At least, I said it rather than keeping it. It also makes me think, is she/he cheating? I feel like I wanted to give up but I love Vans very much. I know, I'm in a long-distant relationship, but we trust and we loved each other so much. But the truth is, I can't stand it when Vans become sad or depressed. Its making me sad as well. I'M SICK WITH ALL OF THIS!! But I can't give up. Vans stopped being suicide coz of me. I'm confused and pretty much getting to my nerves. Ahhhhh! Idk what to do, seriously. But I don't want us to end. Sadness filled my whole body, with a feeling of anger and rage.. *looks away*