missing piece of puzzle in my life..

It's been a while since I last blog... was too busy with college and stuff...
okay..my life so far..there are ups and downs as usual but mostly downs coz of that someone..
me and vans, we had a fight on sunday..which nearly ends our relationship but it didn't happen coz we love each other too much..and now, I'm disturbed coz the thought, "Do you really love me?" came to haunt me again. I don't know why tho coz I really feel like you don't love me anymore..or maybe you never really love me like you said you were.. Its really making me confuse when it comes to you..
Okay..forget bout the down part..let's talk bout the up part..
well..yesterday, while I was facebooking and chatting on msn, suddenly someone I knew online and that someone is my ex, Eri. Believe it or not, I actually think that I was dreaming..I couldn't believe it! It was in March since we last talked and yesterday we both talk. She's still the same Eri, that I've loved before. Same craziness, same depression, same everything and I miss all that. To be honest, I still love her till now..maybe more than I love vans coz I was smiling like a mad man yesterday..smiling to myself.. it was funny and weird tho.. but seriously, I want to be with Eri again. But I don't know if she still feel the same way about me.. I miss the 5 months we had, the laughs, the jokes, everything.. texting everyday.. she texted me at 6.00am everyday..yep, I miss that all. She's the missing puzzle piece that has been missing from my life.. and I want that puzzle piece back... I'm not sure when she's going to be on msn tho but I hope that she will..and I can't bloody text her coz her parents took her phone..thats what she said.. I don't know! All I want is for her to know how I feel bout her.. that's all.. but from far what I see in her, she moved on...and I'm still stucked in the past...

I'm a droob...

I'm a droob in believing that we're over..
but now I'm sure that we're staying with each other..
Forever and Always <3

thinking of...

Thinking everything about you makes my heart bleed...
I don't know if I should end it of not.. I don't know if I should be with you anymore..
Everything is becoming a blur now.. everything about us...
How can I love a person when the person does not even want to talk to me????
Fuck all of this! I can't stand anymore..
I've been thinking a lot now..and its really tearing my heart apart..
you're there and i'm here.. I just couldn't bear with the distance..
we're falling apart each day...
even so, my feelings for you are still the same.. don't you understand that?
I'm just a fool..a fool fell for you..
Leave me alone for now....



*sadness mode*