Last post before I go.

It's 10.55pm and i've got about 6 hours left in this house. I'm done with the packing. Emotion of sadness fills my whole body. I will treasured this moment. Next week, I will woke up to a different room with different wall colour. Talked with V today..V wrote a poem for me and it made me cry. Tears start flowing down coz all the words in every sentences, goes deep into my heart. It's so emotional. We talked only for a while today and its sad. We both cried. I will call V tomorrow tho. We went dinner tonight that's why I can't talk with V longer. The best thing about tonight is, my dad bought me Twilight which means i've completed my collection of Twilight Saga [Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn]. I've finished reading it all. So..imma go to bed.

Goodbye for now....

News Flash!! -EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME-

So..today is the day. My last day staying home. My last day staying in Sabah and next week i'll be staying in my college. New Bed..new roommates..new environment. As promised, I'll tell you a thing or two about me. Well maybe a lil bit of secret. Just maybe. Don't get to excited. Seriously..don't. First, I'm just gonna say, I'm not cute or adorable. Hey, nobody is perfect in this world right? For me, everyone has their own inner beauty. For me, everybody is beautiful, cute and adorable. The word "Hot" or "Sexy" doesn't explains the beauty of a person. Use proper word such as "Beautiful" or "Handsome" coz it's more honest. Okay, nuff saying. Shall I begin, your Highness?


Age: 17 years and 10 months. [18 on the 10th July]

Hobbies: Cooking..Reading..I totally love reading especially books about friendships, life, romance and TWILIGHT SAGA!!

Horoscope sign: Cancer [I'm a CRAB! teehee xD]

Blood Type: B+ [Anyone needs blood the same as mine?? :) ]

Fav. Music: Anything that is related to metal/deathcore and post-hardcore songs such as ESCAPE THE FATE, THY ART IS MURDER, SUICIDE SILENCE, BLESS THE FALL, THREE FACES WEST, FROM FIRST TO LAST, UNDEROATH, A DAY TO REMEMBER, A SKYLIT DRIVE, BRING ME THE HORIZON, BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE and also I like listening to Yiruma's song..he's an awesome pianist.

What I like to do in my free time?
- Poems..I love poems.
- Listening to music. [mostly metal and my sister hates my music..lol..]
- Staring at the wall for no reason. [i'm weird]
- Talking to my dog. [wished they could talk back so I won't feel lonely]
- MSN [i'm always on but not when in college]



Things that I love!! :)

- My Laptop and my phone [my life is in this thing..]

- Books! [we can gain more knowledge by reading it]

- Friends! [can't live without em']
- Texting is FUN!!!
- I'm obsessed with Gummy Bears! [i have the gummy bear song in my phone :P]


Things that I hate!! :(

- Pretend friendship! [major heartbroken]

- Backstabbers! [will never forgive if you're one of them]

- People who stereotyped other people [Gosh! They need to realize that people are different and learn to accept them for who they are..]

- People who insult/hurt the ones that I loved the most especially my family, my friends, that special someone.. [i'll make you regret if you hurt them]


Things that I wanted the most:
- Blackberry Smartphone or IPhone
- All expenses paid to Australia to meet that someone
- To be successful in my studies
- To make my parents proud
- To live a happy and wonderful life



I think this are the secrets...maybe..owh I don't know..just read, okay?

- I'm a BI. Shocked? Nah, i'm sure you're not. Yes, I like both genders. I don't care what you think of me because for me, everyone deserved to be loved. So what if I like girls and boys? There's nothing wrong with that. Right? :D
- Gays are the most awesome people in this world. Because for me, they understands how people feel and boy they can make people happy. This also goes to all unstraight people in this world..I salute you all!!!
- I'm scared to be alone. I'm scared of loneliness.
- I cut myself. There are scars on my left wrist but some of it already healed.
- I'm afraid of ghosts and monsters.
- I hate/afraid of roaches..they're icky!! :S
- I have a very low self-esteem..I get shy easily.

This pictures below shows you pictures of me....

P/S: Hate me if you want after reading this post. But please, don't. Because I done nothing wrong to you so there's no reason for you to hate me right? I don't care what you think of me after reading it all. Yes, I'm weird. I know. Insult me all you want. Thanks for the insult anyway. I'm grateful. Thanks for reading my blog. Don't forget to leave some hello[if you're friendly] or some shit[if you're an arse] in my chatbox. Goodbye for now. :D

Shocked :O Sad :( and its soon...

okay..okay..I know.. you're sad about it too... Talked with T today.. also from Aus, just so you know. I've known her for about 6 months. Whoa, I have many Australians in my msn's friends list. Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney and Perth. Nuff saying. So, I talked with T today. As usual...sadness.. She said to me that, she thinks she's going die without me. Shocker?! Yes, me! I'm shocked! I asked her why and she says that, she can't live without me and because she needs me. Again, shocker! Then we started talking and talking..and me trying to calm her down and trying to convince her that everything will be okay. But no..she said its not going to be okay without you. She also said that she don't want me to go. But what can I do? Its my only chance to pursue my study. Please..understand that. I'm not going for forever. We can talk on weekends and i'll be going home on Kaamatan. I promise myself that I must talk you to on your birthday, which is on the 31st May. That's why I must go home. The most shocking thing..that I asked her this question.."Am I everything to you?" Then she answered.."Everything that I would ever get" what a...SHOCKER!! But why me? Why me? We live far away from each other and yet why do you want to be with me? Seems like we're getting close with each other. 2 days left..2 days.. and this sadness in me are eating me inside.. I want to make this 2 days the most precious day for my V and also for you, T. Would it be weird to be in love with two person? Nah, that's not possible tho. My heart is with V and I'm happy with it. My last day which is on Friday, I'll be posting about all about me for you to go deep inside me and see what kind of person I am. I'll be telling you all about me from A to Z and from first phase to last phase. Wait for Friday. The truth will be revealed. Well..not all. Teehee!

3 days? 2 days to be exact...

I can't bear to live knowing that you're sad about me leaving soon. We talked yesterday..I can feel your sadness. When you asked me how i'm doing, I replied to you that I'm ok. But deep in my heart, I'm sad. I just don't want you to know coz I don't want you to be sad. I only told your sis that I'm sad. Seriously!! I'm freakin sad. Ugh! It's 2 days left. How am I gonna make this 2 days the most precious day of our lifes? Gah..i'm stressing out. I Love You so much..you're my all..my everything.. If I lose you then I'm lost.

J Hearts V forever and always <3

just got back from the interview! [well..that went okay..]

*Lets out a big sigh as a sign of stress relieve....fuuuuuuyyyyyyyoooooooo...*
Well, the interview went well..i guess..I met new friends and I met my old primary friend. She remembered me and I don't remember her. What kind of a friend am I?! Lol..it was like 10 years ago. Okay, bout the interview. Hmm..scary at first but the rest was okay. The interviewers was not mean and snobbish like some people say. They were nice and I was like smiling during the interview. It was funny tho. Now, I got nothing to worry about. Yay moi! Mwahahahahaha >:D
Evil laugh...me evil...yeah..haha..was just kidding bout that. Lol, there's so much to do..actually none but for me..there's still some things to prepare for matrix. So, till then. Teehee!

getting ready for the interview tomorrow..ooohh nervous..

I'm done with the essays. All 6 essays. *Claps for me* and now I have to revised about Swine Flu and the current issues happening surrounding us. I'm so nervous for the interview tomorrow. I'm shaking from top to bottom. Seriously, it's no joke. Does it looked like I'm joking?! *Lets out a BIG sigh...phew..* It's like 11 hours to go till the interview. Wish me luck guys and girls xD hope the interviewer won't be the mean and snobbish one. Oooohh..i'm terribly afraid of that kind. Excuse me for using such horrible grammar. I'm not that good in speaking nor writing in english though. Tomorrow, there also will be a 30 minutes test which is annoying coz it will be testing you if you have the skills and personality to be a teacher. Well duh..umm..lol, i don't know.

Quote for today...

"Although I'm weak in the outside..but in the inside I'm stronger than the mountains. I will soar high and you will see my inner strength that will make you regret for what you have saw me in the outside"

I just realized something and it's sad :[

Gosh, I just woke up..yeah JUST woke up.. I'm asleep a while ago coz I was too stressed out to think. Been sleeping for 2 hours. Wow, that gave me a bloody headache. Ouch! When I woke up, I realized something that made me sad. I realized that, today it's my last Sunday staying in my home and next sunday, I will be at Matriculation. Yeah..my last sunday today.. Ugh..ugh..ugh..gah! Sad... Next Week will be a new environment for me.. New room, new people..new atmosphere..everything is going to be new.. I hope I can settle it very fast or i'll be homesick for the rest of the semester. It's only a year right? No biggie.. *hearts beating fast* oooohhhh..*moments of silence*.......whoosshhh..I'm DONE!

stressed out and drowning in it!!!

Gah!! I'm really stressed out about the interview for perguruan thingy. What is the difference between PROFESSION and BIDANG???? Anyone could help me with that? If you can, you're a life saver. I just found out that I have to write 6 essays instead of 3!! Omg! Omg! OMFG!! The interview is sooo near..*cries alone* and I heard the interviewer is a very serious person. Gosh..i'm so scared. I'm going to breakdown..*Cries louder* I'm drowning in my own tears...drowning..cries for help..drowning.......................

soon...2 days till interview for perguruan..

"Hey"...my favourite saying when i'm talking with vans..ugh, didn't talk with vans a.k.a dear today. Well, today was frustrating coz the clinic that I went to check my blood group, tersalah this. Bukan blood group yang dorang pigi check. Sheeshh..so, went back there to take my blood sample again. Well, as usual no pain. I like it, lol. *Took a deep breath..then sigh* Idk, is it 7 or 6 days to go? Gosh, I suck at counting days... Time passed by so fast. Yesterday my friend said check the IPTA result coz its already out. So, I went to check mine and guess what? I GOT ACCEPTED to UiTM for Diploma in Hotel Management. Some of my friends didn't get through tho. Whoa..so many to choose. And this Tuesday which is on the 5th May 2009, I have to go for another interview at Maktab Perguruan Gaya. Gah..still haven't done with the essays that I'm supposed to do for the interview. I haven't read bout the current issues which will also be asked during the interview. All I know is about the SWINE FLU. I'm still studying bout it. Lol, i'm blurred bout it. I know it started in Mexico and its going to Phase 5 which means Pandemic and that is in a dangerous level. Hope Malaysia won't get it. So, people..travel less..means less money spent..less outbreak and less death. Omg..i'm stressed out bout this college thingy..
1. Matriculation in Labuan [I'll be going on the 10th May for registration]
2. Maktab Perguruan Gaya [interview and hopefully I will get chosen]
3. Adventist College of Nursing in Penang [waiting for the result and still thinking bout it]
4. Diploma in Hotel Management at UiTM [not sure but interested in that course]

Gosh..gosh..what should I do??

Madina Lake [wow!]

I just found out this band from myyearbook, Madina Lake. I look up for this band on youtube for their song "One Last Kiss" and I was like "whoa! awesome xD" No, there's no screamo in this music, so yeah I'm sure for all you screamo hater would love this music. Blah to you screamo/metalcore hater. LOL! And for those out who listens to rap..Boo to you! Hehe..so here's the link to the vid..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIxGmhoopvs