Thinking everything about you makes my heart bleed...
I don't know if I should end it of not.. I don't know if I should be with you anymore..
Everything is becoming a blur now.. everything about us...
How can I love a person when the person does not even want to talk to me????
Fuck all of this! I can't stand anymore..
I've been thinking a lot now..and its really tearing my heart apart..
you're there and i'm here.. I just couldn't bear with the distance..
we're falling apart each day...
even so, my feelings for you are still the same.. don't you understand that?
I'm just a fool..a fool fell for you..
Leave me alone for now....
*sadness mode*
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Breathless
Today at Social Study class, I feel so bored..Idk why tho..coz this is the first time I feel bored in SS class..that's where my mood swings started to kicked in. Then came the "Thoughts" and something had crossed my mind..I really don't know what it is but that something really hurts me..a poem popped up in my mind..here it is..
Breathless
Walking this path leads to nowhere
The skies growl above
Thunders crashing there and here
With the feeling of anger
I looked down to the ground
Walking with my head down
With a feeling of sadness in me
I cursed this world for being so cruel
So cruel that it hurts me inside
I cursed, “Damn you!”
As I walked on the grey pavements
With a face filled with sorrow
Tears flooded my eyes
Flowing down through my cheeks
Bloody tears
I stopped and stand on the ground
Drowned in my own tears
Gasping for air
Feeling weak inside me
Breathless
Walking this path leads to nowhere
The skies growl above
Thunders crashing there and here
With the feeling of anger
I looked down to the ground
Walking with my head down
With a feeling of sadness in me
I cursed this world for being so cruel
So cruel that it hurts me inside
I cursed, “Damn you!”
As I walked on the grey pavements
With a face filled with sorrow
Tears flooded my eyes
Flowing down through my cheeks
Bloody tears
I stopped and stand on the ground
Drowned in my own tears
Gasping for air
Feeling weak inside me
Breathless
Thursday, August 6, 2009
It was sad but yet funny xD
Okay..we were given a group task by our English Study lecturer. A task which requires us to tell a story based on the given sentence by her.The sentence was like this,
"The sound of the door slamming..."
Then we have to continue it. So my groups members were myself, Candice, Eudora and Gracie. We sat together and try to came up with an interesting story. We thought of horror, thriller, comedy and romance. Which one do we choose? Read the story that I made and you'll know it. By the way, the story made my friends cry. I'm so proud that I made a boy cried with my story! A boy! He cried!!! Bahahahahahaahahahahaha.......
Here's the story.. Title: I Love You, Goodbye
The sound of the door slamming makes my heart pounds so fast. I wonder who had slammed the door. The feeling of curiosity bloomed inside me. Suddenly I heard an unfamiliar voice calling me from downstairs. I felt the chills sent down to my spine. I wonder who that person could be. I was alone in my room and I’m scared if that person downstairs could be a burglar, rapist or even worse, a murderer. I’m beginning to imagine horrible things in my head. I felt the urge to go downstairs. I grabbed my baseball bat and slowly crept out from my bedroom door. I tip-toed to the stairs, slowly walking down step by step and finally, I’ve reached downstairs. I peeked through my kitchen then to my living room. It was weird because there is no one in any of those places and yet I’ve heard someone calling me. This situation is starting to scare me. I quickly ran up the stairs and walked to my room. While I was walking, Chase suddenly crossed my mind. In case you’re wondering who is Chase, he’s my boyfriend. We’ve been together for almost six years that is since we were sixteen years old in high school. I’ve reached my room. I turned the door knob slowly and what I saw in my room nearly give me a heart attack. There he is, standing in front of me, with his blue mesmerizing eyes and his angelic smile. We barely see each other because he lives in Australia to further his study there. And now, he is standing in front of me. Chase is standing in front of me. I could not believe my eyes. It’s like I’m in a dream and I need a good pinch on my arm to prove this is not a dream. I stared at him blankly. Suddenly I felt a soft pinch on my arm. It was Chase who pinched me.
“What is that for?” I asked him.
He smiled and said, “It looks like you couldn’t believe that I was standing in front of you so I gave you a soft pinch on your arm.”
I gave him a grin.
He stare at me with his beautiful eyes, “It’s been a while since we last seen each other. How are you my dear?”
I noticed that his voice has changed. No wonder I couldn’t recognize his voice when he was calling me. I held his face with my hands and say, “I’m fine, thank you for asking.”
I grabbed his hand and bring him to my bed. We both sat on my bed. We talked for hours. He said he missed me so much so he decided to go back to Sabah to meet me. I was flattered when he does that just to meet me. I gave him a hug and he smiled at me. He had a soft sweet smile that made my heart melts. Suddenly, there was a silent moment between us. He just stares at me. The expression on his face had changed. I saw sadness in his eyes.
“Is there something wrong dear?” I asked him with concern in my voice.
He turned his face away from me. I was worried now. I gently held his face to face mine. To my shock, I saw tears in those beautiful eyes.
“Chase, why are you crying?” He kept staring at me with those teary eyes. Our eyes met each other. Then suddenly he came nearer to me. I startled a bit. He asked me to close my eyes. I closed my eyes slowly. In few seconds, I felt his lips touches with mine. He kissed me passionately and I was drowning in it. His lips became more urgent, I felt the urge to go further but something stopped me from going forward.
I pushed him slowly and said, “Maybe this is not the right time. I’m sorry.”
He smiled and kissed me gently on my forehead. “Let’s go for a dinner. I’m hungry.”
I nodded and he told me to get changed into a dress. I wonder where he would take me.
“What is that for?” I asked him.
He smiled and said, “It looks like you couldn’t believe that I was standing in front of you so I gave you a soft pinch on your arm.”
I gave him a grin.
He stare at me with his beautiful eyes, “It’s been a while since we last seen each other. How are you my dear?”
I noticed that his voice has changed. No wonder I couldn’t recognize his voice when he was calling me. I held his face with my hands and say, “I’m fine, thank you for asking.”
I grabbed his hand and bring him to my bed. We both sat on my bed. We talked for hours. He said he missed me so much so he decided to go back to Sabah to meet me. I was flattered when he does that just to meet me. I gave him a hug and he smiled at me. He had a soft sweet smile that made my heart melts. Suddenly, there was a silent moment between us. He just stares at me. The expression on his face had changed. I saw sadness in his eyes.
“Is there something wrong dear?” I asked him with concern in my voice.
He turned his face away from me. I was worried now. I gently held his face to face mine. To my shock, I saw tears in those beautiful eyes.
“Chase, why are you crying?” He kept staring at me with those teary eyes. Our eyes met each other. Then suddenly he came nearer to me. I startled a bit. He asked me to close my eyes. I closed my eyes slowly. In few seconds, I felt his lips touches with mine. He kissed me passionately and I was drowning in it. His lips became more urgent, I felt the urge to go further but something stopped me from going forward.
I pushed him slowly and said, “Maybe this is not the right time. I’m sorry.”
He smiled and kissed me gently on my forehead. “Let’s go for a dinner. I’m hungry.”
I nodded and he told me to get changed into a dress. I wonder where he would take me.
He went out from my room and he said that he will wait downstairs. He closed the door behind him. I walked to my closet and took out a black lavender dress that he gave me on my birthday two years ago. I matched the dress with my black stiletto heels. It took me about an hour to get myself done. I went downstairs and saw him waiting for me at my door with a bouquet of white and red roses. He had changed into his tuxedo and he looked amazingly handsome. As I walked down the stairs, he kept smiling at me.
“How do you change so fast?” I asked him.
He giggled, “There was an empty room near the bathroom so I changed there.”
He handed me the bouquet and said, “You’re the most beautiful thing that had happen in my life and I’m glad that I’m in love with you.”
I hugged him tightly.
He walked me to his car. “Emily, before you go in, I need to blindfold you. I don’t want to spoil the surprise.” I nodded at him. He blindfolded me and he led me to sit at the passenger seat beside him. I felt the car was moving.
“Where we are going for dinner?”
“Just wait and see love.”
After few minutes passed, the car stopped moving. He went out from the car and opened the door and held my hand. I felt the cooling breeze blowing through me and I heard waves crashing. I realized that we’re at the beach.
“Come and follow me. Don’t worry, just hold my hand.”
“But, where are we going?”
“Just trust me, okay?”
He held my hand and I followed him cautiously.
“Watch your step.”
After few seconds of walking, he unties the blindfold. The scene was beautiful. There was a table for both of us, with a candle in the middle. It was a candlelight dinner. He was so romantic.
I looked at him and said; “You do all of this just for me?”
“For the girl I loved so much, I’m willing to do anything.”
I gave him a kiss on his cheek. We both sat and the waiter served us dinner.
It was a lovely evening because of the cooling breeze and the sound of the waves crashing to the shore. A violinist came and played a soft song.
“Care to dance my love?”
“I’m not a good dancer, Chase. I think I’ll pass.”
He looked at me with disapproving look, “Nonsense, I’ve seen you dance before and you were good at it.”
I didn’t argue any further so I got up and danced with him. We both danced and danced till sunset. Suddenly, he stopped dancing. His face turned to a serious look.
I asked him, “Chase, is there something wrong? You were also like this today in my room. Tell me what is wrong.”
“There’s nothing wrong, Emily. It’s just....” He stopped for a moment.
“What Chase? Tell me. You’re making me worried.”
“Emily, you’re the girl I felt in love with. We were both young when we fell for each other. Throughout the years we’ve been through, our love grew stronger.”
Then he reaches for something inside his pocket and he took out a small black box. He kneeled down in front of me. He opened the box and I saw a ring with a beautiful diamond on it. He gently grabs my hand.
“How do you change so fast?” I asked him.
He giggled, “There was an empty room near the bathroom so I changed there.”
He handed me the bouquet and said, “You’re the most beautiful thing that had happen in my life and I’m glad that I’m in love with you.”
I hugged him tightly.
He walked me to his car. “Emily, before you go in, I need to blindfold you. I don’t want to spoil the surprise.” I nodded at him. He blindfolded me and he led me to sit at the passenger seat beside him. I felt the car was moving.
“Where we are going for dinner?”
“Just wait and see love.”
After few minutes passed, the car stopped moving. He went out from the car and opened the door and held my hand. I felt the cooling breeze blowing through me and I heard waves crashing. I realized that we’re at the beach.
“Come and follow me. Don’t worry, just hold my hand.”
“But, where are we going?”
“Just trust me, okay?”
He held my hand and I followed him cautiously.
“Watch your step.”
After few seconds of walking, he unties the blindfold. The scene was beautiful. There was a table for both of us, with a candle in the middle. It was a candlelight dinner. He was so romantic.
I looked at him and said; “You do all of this just for me?”
“For the girl I loved so much, I’m willing to do anything.”
I gave him a kiss on his cheek. We both sat and the waiter served us dinner.
It was a lovely evening because of the cooling breeze and the sound of the waves crashing to the shore. A violinist came and played a soft song.
“Care to dance my love?”
“I’m not a good dancer, Chase. I think I’ll pass.”
He looked at me with disapproving look, “Nonsense, I’ve seen you dance before and you were good at it.”
I didn’t argue any further so I got up and danced with him. We both danced and danced till sunset. Suddenly, he stopped dancing. His face turned to a serious look.
I asked him, “Chase, is there something wrong? You were also like this today in my room. Tell me what is wrong.”
“There’s nothing wrong, Emily. It’s just....” He stopped for a moment.
“What Chase? Tell me. You’re making me worried.”
“Emily, you’re the girl I felt in love with. We were both young when we fell for each other. Throughout the years we’ve been through, our love grew stronger.”
Then he reaches for something inside his pocket and he took out a small black box. He kneeled down in front of me. He opened the box and I saw a ring with a beautiful diamond on it. He gently grabs my hand.
“Emily, when I breathe, you’re the first thing that comes into my mind and to my heart. My heart beats only for you and without you it will stop. I want to spend my whole life with you and I promise that I will never stop loving you. Emily Robson, will you marry me?”
I was touched. Tears of joy ran down from my eyes.
“Yes! Yes! I will!” I yelled in a joyful voice.
He stands up and he kissed me. My heart was beating fast. We decided to get marry after two days from the day he proposed to me. There are a lot of preparations to be made in two days. I told my parents about it and they both were happy for me especially my mum. She helped me with all the preparations including my wedding dress, wedding cakes and the venue. The two days passed very quickly. Finally, it’s our wedding day. I woke up with a smile on my face. My best friend, Ashley, was there to help me to dress up. When I put on my wedding dress and stand in front of the mirror, I was happy. I’m about to marry with the man I love more than anything in this world. As I was about to go downstairs, my phone rang. I picked up.
“Good morning. Is this Emily?”
“Yes, it’s Emily speaking. How may I help you sir?”
“I’m not allowed to tell you on the phone. It’s about Chase. I need you to come down to the hospital now. It’s urgent.”
I was shocked, I ran out from the house door and into my car. Tears start to cover my eyes and I was praying hard that nothing bad will happen to Chase. I reached the hospital in wedding dress. I panicked, I ran here and there. A doctor came up to me and asked, “Are you Emily, Chase’s fiancée?
“Yes, I am. What happened to Chase? We are getting married today.”
He was silent for a moment.
“Please, tell me. Is there something wrong?” I asked impatiently.
The doctor finally spoke, “I’m sorry to tell you but Chase is gone.”
I broke down in tears, “Why do you mean by he is gone?!”
The doctor was shocked when I asked him that question. He looked at me, “He didn’t tell you that he has cancer? I’ve been treating him for about 3 years now.”
I cried more, “No, he didn’t tell me that he had cancer. I guess he doesn’t want me to worry about him. But why the hell he didn’t tell me? Why you didn’t save him, doctor? Why?”
The doctor puts his hand on my shoulder, “We’ve done everything we could but the tumours inside his lungs were too big and it can’t be saved.”
I cried more and more. I felt like my whole life was falling apart. My heart was shattered into million pieces. Suddenly, a nurse came up to me and handed me a piece of paper. She said it was from him. He wrote it before he died. I opened the letter and read it.
Dear Emily,
I’m sorry that I’ve been keeping this from you for the past three years. I don’t want you to worry about me. It tore my heart apart to see you sad. I’m sorry I have to leave you. My time is almost up. Please, be strong. I don’t want you to be sad. I will always be in your heart. Look out for the shiniest star at night. That star is me smiling down on you so you would not feel lonely. Here’s a poem that I made for you,
Goodbye my dear
I shall make it clear
I’m not sure if you can see
But you take the breath right out of me
I may not be beside you everyday
But my love for you will stay forever true
You’re like the moon in the starry night,
You amongst the darkness
Provide me light
You shone my path
That leads me to you
I believe the same thing
Are meant to be
Cause I believe in love
And yours was meant for me
My heart is one with you,
I wrote your name in my heart,
And forever it will stay.
I love you,
Goodbye.
I was touched. Tears of joy ran down from my eyes.
“Yes! Yes! I will!” I yelled in a joyful voice.
He stands up and he kissed me. My heart was beating fast. We decided to get marry after two days from the day he proposed to me. There are a lot of preparations to be made in two days. I told my parents about it and they both were happy for me especially my mum. She helped me with all the preparations including my wedding dress, wedding cakes and the venue. The two days passed very quickly. Finally, it’s our wedding day. I woke up with a smile on my face. My best friend, Ashley, was there to help me to dress up. When I put on my wedding dress and stand in front of the mirror, I was happy. I’m about to marry with the man I love more than anything in this world. As I was about to go downstairs, my phone rang. I picked up.
“Good morning. Is this Emily?”
“Yes, it’s Emily speaking. How may I help you sir?”
“I’m not allowed to tell you on the phone. It’s about Chase. I need you to come down to the hospital now. It’s urgent.”
I was shocked, I ran out from the house door and into my car. Tears start to cover my eyes and I was praying hard that nothing bad will happen to Chase. I reached the hospital in wedding dress. I panicked, I ran here and there. A doctor came up to me and asked, “Are you Emily, Chase’s fiancée?
“Yes, I am. What happened to Chase? We are getting married today.”
He was silent for a moment.
“Please, tell me. Is there something wrong?” I asked impatiently.
The doctor finally spoke, “I’m sorry to tell you but Chase is gone.”
I broke down in tears, “Why do you mean by he is gone?!”
The doctor was shocked when I asked him that question. He looked at me, “He didn’t tell you that he has cancer? I’ve been treating him for about 3 years now.”
I cried more, “No, he didn’t tell me that he had cancer. I guess he doesn’t want me to worry about him. But why the hell he didn’t tell me? Why you didn’t save him, doctor? Why?”
The doctor puts his hand on my shoulder, “We’ve done everything we could but the tumours inside his lungs were too big and it can’t be saved.”
I cried more and more. I felt like my whole life was falling apart. My heart was shattered into million pieces. Suddenly, a nurse came up to me and handed me a piece of paper. She said it was from him. He wrote it before he died. I opened the letter and read it.
Dear Emily,
I’m sorry that I’ve been keeping this from you for the past three years. I don’t want you to worry about me. It tore my heart apart to see you sad. I’m sorry I have to leave you. My time is almost up. Please, be strong. I don’t want you to be sad. I will always be in your heart. Look out for the shiniest star at night. That star is me smiling down on you so you would not feel lonely. Here’s a poem that I made for you,
Goodbye my dear
I shall make it clear
I’m not sure if you can see
But you take the breath right out of me
I may not be beside you everyday
But my love for you will stay forever true
You’re like the moon in the starry night,
You amongst the darkness
Provide me light
You shone my path
That leads me to you
I believe the same thing
Are meant to be
Cause I believe in love
And yours was meant for me
My heart is one with you,
I wrote your name in my heart,
And forever it will stay.
I love you,
Goodbye.
Notes: Please, DON'T attempt to copy this story. I made it myself, it's my work. So, please..just read and tell me what do u think of it. Your reading will be most appreciated.
Thanks =D
xoxo
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Happy Friendship Day!! xD
It's 6.58 am now and I just want to say good morning and.....
HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!!!! xD :D
HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!!!! xD :D
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Why is it so hard to understand you?
Gosh, why is it so hard for me to understand of what you're going through now? When I asked you, you said that you don't know. It's like you're telling lies about your life. I've known you with lies alongside. I just want to know what is your problem so that I can help. I know you're wondering why do I cared you so much about you. You want the answers? First, you're my friend and as a friend, I don't want you to get hurt. Secondly, it would be such a waste for you to die at a young age. You would not experience life and thirdly, I have this feeling which makes me wouldn't stop caring about you. This feeling that turned into a love kind of feeling which I've kept it for quite sometime. I think our friendship is on the verge of breaking down which I can feel it will happen soon. I want to ask you this question. Am I a friend to you? i'm sure you will just answer yes but what does your heart truly say? That I want to know. I guess, I will leave it that way then....
Monday, July 27, 2009
I so HATE today!!! >:(
Heyy peeps!
I'm blogging in my room..which is in IPGM Kampus Gaya. Glad they have wi-fi here but certain websites are blocked! Damn! Okay nuff said bout yadayada..
Let's get straight to the point.. about what happened today during GERKO time...
VOLLEYBALL!!! Say hello to major pain! xD
I'm just gonna say once.. My hands are hurt!! They're bloody swollen!!
It's like purple and blue in color...pity me :(
Someone! PLease...cure this bloody pain..
Surely..tomorrow I can't write anything..
I'm blogging in my room..which is in IPGM Kampus Gaya. Glad they have wi-fi here but certain websites are blocked! Damn! Okay nuff said bout yadayada..
Let's get straight to the point.. about what happened today during GERKO time...
VOLLEYBALL!!! Say hello to major pain! xD
I'm just gonna say once.. My hands are hurt!! They're bloody swollen!!
It's like purple and blue in color...pity me :(
Someone! PLease...cure this bloody pain..
Surely..tomorrow I can't write anything..
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I'm sick with all of this!!
Heyy..it's been a while since I last update my blog. Its coz I'm busy with my orientation last week. No time for laptop or fun. Gosh, I'm hella tired. Well, the institute was okay.. But there's wi-fi in each room which is a PLUS for me. Tidak boring lah.. Not like in matrix, tamaha wi-fi..sheeshh... Well, I met new friends again! They're ok and very open-minded and I'm beginnning to like them. I'm staying with seniors..whoa, SENIORS! and i'm hella shy around them..I'm gettingg a feeling that my life there would be fun and stressful at the same time. Okay, nuff said bout college. What happen today was sickening me. Wait for the sickening part, on to the happy part first. Today, I bought a new shirt again. On the shirt it stated that,
"SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT DAYS" and I'm in love with that shirt. It truly reflects how I feel each day. Okay, on to the sickening part..owh I so hate of what happen just now. How can you love someone when that someone cares more about his/her relationship with other person, meaning that his/her bff. Ugh, it's stressful. It makes you think that, if she/he loves you or their bff. I'm a bit jealous, yes..jealous. At least, I said it rather than keeping it. It also makes me think, is she/he cheating? I feel like I wanted to give up but I love Vans very much. I know, I'm in a long-distant relationship, but we trust and we loved each other so much. But the truth is, I can't stand it when Vans become sad or depressed. Its making me sad as well. I'M SICK WITH ALL OF THIS!! But I can't give up. Vans stopped being suicide coz of me. I'm confused and pretty much getting to my nerves. Ahhhhh! Idk what to do, seriously. But I don't want us to end. Sadness filled my whole body, with a feeling of anger and rage.. *looks away*
"SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT DAYS" and I'm in love with that shirt. It truly reflects how I feel each day. Okay, on to the sickening part..owh I so hate of what happen just now. How can you love someone when that someone cares more about his/her relationship with other person, meaning that his/her bff. Ugh, it's stressful. It makes you think that, if she/he loves you or their bff. I'm a bit jealous, yes..jealous. At least, I said it rather than keeping it. It also makes me think, is she/he cheating? I feel like I wanted to give up but I love Vans very much. I know, I'm in a long-distant relationship, but we trust and we loved each other so much. But the truth is, I can't stand it when Vans become sad or depressed. Its making me sad as well. I'M SICK WITH ALL OF THIS!! But I can't give up. Vans stopped being suicide coz of me. I'm confused and pretty much getting to my nerves. Ahhhhh! Idk what to do, seriously. But I don't want us to end. Sadness filled my whole body, with a feeling of anger and rage.. *looks away*
Saturday, July 11, 2009
well..that was pleasant..
Today was.....AWESOME!! and pleasant..hehe.. My dad, me and elyn went to watch Drag Me To Hell at growball. That movie nearly gave me a heart attack. Seriously O.o but at the same time it was funny. You should have seen elyn just now. She borrowed my hoodie and guess what she do with it? She zipped it until it covers her face and the wore the hoodie throughout the movie. It was really funny if you saw her. Teehee! Damn, that movie gave me the chills..urgh! :P Screaming everywhere..heart pounding every scene..I have to close my eyes for goodness sake. Lol, I can't stand the excitement of the movie..hehe.
Now, i'm begging you please go to this site, Tun Dr.Mahathir's blog and VOTE whether you want teaching of Science and Maths in Bahasa Malaysia. PLEASE VOTE FOR NO! I'M BEGGING YOU! PLEASE! PLEASE! WE WANT TO GO FUTHER NOT BACKWARDS! Those who vote for "Yes", seriously..what a waste of good education towards our future, "Whackheads!".
Here's the link..
http://chedet.co.cc/chedetblog
PLEASE..PLEASE!! VOTE FOR NO! THANK YOU =D
Now, i'm begging you please go to this site, Tun Dr.Mahathir's blog and VOTE whether you want teaching of Science and Maths in Bahasa Malaysia. PLEASE VOTE FOR NO! I'M BEGGING YOU! PLEASE! PLEASE! WE WANT TO GO FUTHER NOT BACKWARDS! Those who vote for "Yes", seriously..what a waste of good education towards our future, "Whackheads!".
Here's the link..
http://chedet.co.cc/chedetblog
PLEASE..PLEASE!! VOTE FOR NO! THANK YOU =D
Friday, July 10, 2009
Birthday!! Woohoo xD
Happy Birthday to me! Teehee! I'm 18 years old! I'm old! Noooooooo!!! But I can finally go into clubs! Woohoo! Jugs..here I come! And I can mosh! Finally! Woooo! Moshing!! Hah! Like I ever been to gigs before :P owh well, I can mosh in my room while listening to BMTH.. So, today's my birthday.. First one to wish me was my mum while I was sleeping. She and Joanne went to KL today. Thanks guys for the wishes by texting me..
My gratitude goes to these following people:
During KAKOM
With Miss Masitah beside me..
During my farewell party on Friday..
I miss A1T2 so so much..heaps!!
My gratitude goes to these following people:
- Lee Foon [first one to text me at 7.40pm]
- Effie
- Step
- Shar
- Brenndan
- Ain
- Hazel
- A1T2 class [my classmates in matriks]
Thanks guys for the wishes. But the most touching moment today is when my friend, Shazziey, called me [btw, she's my classmate in matriks A1T2] and my whole classmate was there..and they sang me a birthday song. I was so touched. My A1T2 are the best class ever! Aww..I miss them so much! I want to go back there! Huhuhu..but I can't. I want to be a teacher. And have you guys read the newspaper headlines yesterday? The government wants to teach Maths and Science in Bahasa Malaysia. I was both shocked and angry. Why would they revert back?! I don't agree with their decision. We are so going backwards. What happen if students went to other country to study? I mean, they learned Maths and Science in bahasa when their in school and what if they futher their studies in other country? They would learn all things in English. I'm a soon-to-be English teacher..well in 6 years..and I disagree with the government decision on this. My major is English and my minor is English Literature and MathScience. Ahhh..this is so not happening! Well..mind that for a while. Its my birthday and why should I be angry today anyway? Owh well...
Down there, are some pics of my classmates, A1T2..
During KAKOM
With Miss Masitah beside me..
During my farewell party on Friday..I miss A1T2 so so much..heaps!!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I despised this confused feelings in me
Heyy.. i'm lazy to update my blog everyday. So..umm, I'm updating it today xD
Next week, i'll be leaving home again. Thank goodness, its nearer to home. Gosh, I hope the orientation is not bad as my lecturer said it was. Before that, Rest In Peace MJ! I will remember your moon-walk forever. So..i've been thinking alot these past few days. Actually, since last week. Let me ask you something. What is it feel like to have confused feelings in you towards two people? I'm having it now. I'm already madly deeply in love with this person..then there's this another person I met when I was in Labuan. First, it was just a crush then I'm beginning to develop feelings for that person. I mean, this person's smile..when you see it, it makes your heart sings..like when you're angry, if you see that person's smile, it will make you calm. Seriously, i'm not joking around. To add up, this person is always in my head. God..I feel so guilty now. I'm already taken and I love V. I can't like other people other than V. We've been together for like 11 months and one year together anniversary is just around the corner. Although we are far, I mean very far from each other, we'll never stop loving each other. We talked on msn, and I called 1 or 2 times a week. Ooookkaayyy..nuff said. About this person that I'm crushing on.. the eyes and the smile..wooed me. My friend advised me, not to fall for that person coz I'm already with V. Ahhhh! I'm seriously confused. I can't cheat. I love V very much. Argh! Mind me..idk where to express myself so I express it here.. neways, thanks for reading..
Next week, i'll be leaving home again. Thank goodness, its nearer to home. Gosh, I hope the orientation is not bad as my lecturer said it was. Before that, Rest In Peace MJ! I will remember your moon-walk forever. So..i've been thinking alot these past few days. Actually, since last week. Let me ask you something. What is it feel like to have confused feelings in you towards two people? I'm having it now. I'm already madly deeply in love with this person..then there's this another person I met when I was in Labuan. First, it was just a crush then I'm beginning to develop feelings for that person. I mean, this person's smile..when you see it, it makes your heart sings..like when you're angry, if you see that person's smile, it will make you calm. Seriously, i'm not joking around. To add up, this person is always in my head. God..I feel so guilty now. I'm already taken and I love V. I can't like other people other than V. We've been together for like 11 months and one year together anniversary is just around the corner. Although we are far, I mean very far from each other, we'll never stop loving each other. We talked on msn, and I called 1 or 2 times a week. Ooookkaayyy..nuff said. About this person that I'm crushing on.. the eyes and the smile..wooed me. My friend advised me, not to fall for that person coz I'm already with V. Ahhhh! I'm seriously confused. I can't cheat. I love V very much. Argh! Mind me..idk where to express myself so I express it here.. neways, thanks for reading..
xoxo
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